1
00:00:39,300 --> 00:00:40,300
You got enough?

2
00:00:41,180 --> 00:00:42,180
Yeah.

3
00:00:42,460 --> 00:00:44,820
Okay, Carson, get him out of there.

4
00:00:46,560 --> 00:00:48,840
Boy, this must have been one hell of a
party.

5
00:00:49,580 --> 00:00:50,840
Party? Yeah.

6
00:00:51,200 --> 00:00:52,260
I was invited.

7
00:00:52,620 --> 00:00:55,640
Planned to come until Hawkins called in
sick and I had to work for him.

8
00:00:55,960 --> 00:00:57,860
Well, but practically everybody was
here.

9
00:00:58,800 --> 00:00:59,800
Oh, well.

10
00:00:59,940 --> 00:01:00,940
Hey, what time you got?

11
00:01:01,820 --> 00:01:02,779
9.30.

12
00:01:02,780 --> 00:01:03,780
9.30?

13
00:01:04,300 --> 00:01:07,100
Good. I could still make the hot tub
convention.

14
00:01:31,020 --> 00:01:32,020
Syllable point.

15
00:02:23,370 --> 00:02:26,810
Good evening, Your Honor. I'm sorry to
disturb you, but you were the only one

16
00:02:26,810 --> 00:02:27,728
we could reach.

17
00:02:27,730 --> 00:02:29,150
I was afraid of that.

18
00:02:29,370 --> 00:02:33,050
Judge Stevens is marrying Judge again,
and nobody's seen Judge Crater.

19
00:02:33,530 --> 00:02:35,150
Oh, this had better be good.

20
00:02:35,470 --> 00:02:36,610
Is everyone assembled?

21
00:02:37,110 --> 00:02:38,049
Yes, Your Honor.

22
00:02:38,050 --> 00:02:39,050
Say, listen.

23
00:02:39,310 --> 00:02:40,590
They're not on drugs, are they?

24
00:02:40,850 --> 00:02:42,250
No, sir. Are they drunk?

25
00:02:43,050 --> 00:02:44,290
Some are a little tipsy.

26
00:02:44,490 --> 00:02:46,450
Try to keep the tipsy ones at the back.

27
00:02:46,730 --> 00:02:48,790
I hate it when they puke on my desk.

28
00:02:49,110 --> 00:02:50,110
Yes, Your Honor.

29
00:02:50,930 --> 00:02:51,930
God.

30
00:02:52,130 --> 00:02:57,310
What? them be civilized or at least
conservative

31
00:03:28,010 --> 00:03:29,370
Besides that, your lousy book stinks.

32
00:03:30,370 --> 00:03:32,030
Everyone else has them. Quiet!

33
00:03:32,470 --> 00:03:35,750
Order! Listen, Gummo, since when did you
have any taste?

34
00:03:36,910 --> 00:03:39,030
Why don't you just ask for an audition?

35
00:03:39,470 --> 00:03:42,190
You had to have the governor drop by.

36
00:03:42,430 --> 00:03:43,490
Well, he's a friend.

37
00:03:43,750 --> 00:03:44,750
He was.

38
00:03:44,810 --> 00:03:45,810
Order!

39
00:03:46,050 --> 00:03:47,330
Order! Order!

40
00:03:47,670 --> 00:03:48,670
Order!

41
00:03:49,050 --> 00:03:50,050
Hey, look.

42
00:03:50,450 --> 00:03:51,450
Is that a new uniform?

43
00:03:51,710 --> 00:03:52,668
Yes, Your Honor.

44
00:03:52,670 --> 00:03:54,570
False. You can tell.

45
00:03:55,370 --> 00:03:56,370
Now what?

46
00:03:57,100 --> 00:03:58,740
Are the charges, if any?

47
00:03:58,960 --> 00:04:00,460
Your Honor, I want to call my lawyer.

48
00:04:00,720 --> 00:04:04,240
It's all the governor's fault. I never
should have voted for him. I must call

49
00:04:04,240 --> 00:04:05,820
my editor. I'm sitting on the story of
the decade.

50
00:04:06,080 --> 00:04:10,880
Hold it! We don't call the boss. We're
in big trouble. Hold it! Can we get this

51
00:04:10,880 --> 00:04:14,020
over with? I have to be somewhere by
midnight. Order!

52
00:04:14,240 --> 00:04:16,720
Order! You've been paid till one
o'clock.

53
00:04:33,160 --> 00:04:35,800
Or if anyone even wants to whimper, you
better get permission.

54
00:04:36,640 --> 00:04:38,400
No speaking unless spoken to.

55
00:04:38,620 --> 00:04:39,640
Is that clear?

56
00:04:40,080 --> 00:04:41,140
Is that clear?

57
00:04:41,500 --> 00:04:42,820
Yes, Your Honor.

58
00:04:44,080 --> 00:04:45,440
Well, let's get on with it.

59
00:04:46,420 --> 00:04:47,940
Bailiff, what are the charges?

60
00:04:49,560 --> 00:04:50,560
Here, Your Honor.

61
00:04:56,200 --> 00:04:57,200
Oh!

62
00:04:58,800 --> 00:04:59,800
Mr. Edwards?

63
00:05:00,680 --> 00:05:01,680
Yes, Your Honor.

64
00:05:02,010 --> 00:05:05,190
I've seen quite a number of your films.
They're very liberal.

65
00:05:05,490 --> 00:05:07,610
Thank you very much, Your Honor. I hate
liberals.

66
00:05:08,070 --> 00:05:10,570
Well, did this take place in your home?

67
00:05:10,910 --> 00:05:12,050
It certainly did.

68
00:05:12,590 --> 00:05:15,970
Was I talking to you? Well, it's my
home, too.

69
00:05:16,230 --> 00:05:17,750
This is my wife, Your Honor.

70
00:05:17,990 --> 00:05:18,990
Oh, I see.

71
00:05:19,390 --> 00:05:20,690
What would you wish to say?

72
00:05:21,230 --> 00:05:24,830
Well, frankly, none of this would have
happened if he hadn't bought the rights

73
00:05:24,830 --> 00:05:26,010
to his damn book.

74
00:05:26,310 --> 00:05:27,590
Watch that profanity.

75
00:05:28,050 --> 00:05:29,470
Now, what?

76
00:05:30,050 --> 00:05:31,050
Expletive deleted.

77
00:05:31,630 --> 00:05:32,770
Book are we talking about?

78
00:05:33,150 --> 00:05:36,390
Cheers! Did I ask all of you?

79
00:05:37,470 --> 00:05:39,490
What book are we talking about?

80
00:05:39,890 --> 00:05:41,470
Uh, Picnic Lunch, Your Honor.

81
00:05:42,030 --> 00:05:45,070
Perhaps you've read it. I don't read. I
wait for the movie.

82
00:05:45,930 --> 00:05:46,990
What's it about?

83
00:05:47,370 --> 00:05:54,190
Well, it's this sort of fictional expose
about... Expose my ass.

84
00:05:54,410 --> 00:05:58,850
It's a piece of crap, if you ask me. I
found the whole thing rather tiresome. I

85
00:05:58,850 --> 00:05:59,910
could hardly get through it.

86
00:06:00,200 --> 00:06:01,620
No, it is wonderful.

87
00:06:01,940 --> 00:06:06,020
It's the perfect role for my comeback.
Comeback? It could be an epic film, Your

88
00:06:06,020 --> 00:06:10,620
Honor. It could be. The Inquirer. I
never read it. I wish I had. Hold it!

89
00:06:10,740 --> 00:06:13,240
Hold it! Hold it!

90
00:06:15,060 --> 00:06:17,720
We don't seem to be getting anywhere
now, do we?

91
00:06:18,620 --> 00:06:20,780
Is this book the cause of all this
trouble?

92
00:06:21,960 --> 00:06:24,140
You! I guess so.

93
00:06:24,500 --> 00:06:26,260
Yes or no? Yes or no?

94
00:06:26,700 --> 00:06:27,700
Yes.

95
00:06:30,560 --> 00:06:31,640
You'd better be.

96
00:06:32,000 --> 00:06:34,240
Now, suppose we start at the beginning.

97
00:06:34,920 --> 00:06:36,440
Who wants to speak first?

98
00:06:36,720 --> 00:06:39,120
Well, Your Honor... You didn't say, may
I?

99
00:06:39,520 --> 00:06:42,540
Sorry. May I, Your Honor? Too late now.

100
00:06:44,000 --> 00:06:45,540
May I, Your Honor?

101
00:06:45,760 --> 00:06:47,840
Shoot. What happened first?

102
00:06:48,200 --> 00:06:50,780
Well, I suppose the first thing that
happened was the arrival of the

103
00:06:50,780 --> 00:06:51,780
caterers.

104
00:06:52,040 --> 00:06:53,180
The caterers.

105
00:06:54,260 --> 00:06:55,500
Who are the caterers?

106
00:06:55,740 --> 00:06:56,800
We are, Your Honor.

107
00:06:57,400 --> 00:06:58,400
Toby and Bernie.

108
00:06:58,840 --> 00:06:59,920
Sustenance on sunset.

109
00:07:11,790 --> 00:07:13,310
You know, this should be thumb-bashed.

110
00:07:13,590 --> 00:07:14,509
Oh, yeah?

111
00:07:14,510 --> 00:07:17,590
Bill Edwards just bought the rights to
Picnic Lunch. I read it in the Reporter.

112
00:07:17,850 --> 00:07:19,890
So? So, it's a hot property.

113
00:07:20,230 --> 00:07:23,690
Not according to Polly Perkins. She laid
it to filth in her column.

114
00:07:23,970 --> 00:07:25,830
That's because Polly Perkins is one of
the main characters.

115
00:07:26,230 --> 00:07:28,350
Really? Yeah, well, I mean, not by name.

116
00:07:28,690 --> 00:07:32,130
But I can pick it out. I mean, showbiz,
politics, it's all in there.

117
00:07:33,210 --> 00:07:34,210
Guess I should read it.

118
00:07:34,490 --> 00:07:36,790
Yeah, I think you better. They start
casting next week.

119
00:07:37,370 --> 00:07:38,750
Is your agent submitting you?

120
00:07:39,130 --> 00:07:40,130
God willing.

121
00:07:41,610 --> 00:07:42,710
But you know how that goes.

122
00:07:43,250 --> 00:07:46,230
I mean, I'm right for the part of the
college kid, but so is everybody else in

123
00:07:46,230 --> 00:07:47,230
Southern California.

124
00:07:47,810 --> 00:07:49,690
I gotta think of some way to impress
them today.

125
00:07:49,970 --> 00:07:53,250
I wouldn't push it, Tobe. I'm just
gonna, uh, impress.

126
00:07:54,490 --> 00:07:57,750
I'm gonna let Edwards know I read the
book, and let Perkins know I read the

127
00:07:57,750 --> 00:08:00,950
column. Do you really think she's gonna
be there? She will be there.

128
00:08:01,310 --> 00:08:03,410
Polly Perkins does not win the party.

129
00:08:03,850 --> 00:08:07,830
I should have missed this one, Your
Honor, but Lance wanted to go.

130
00:08:08,990 --> 00:08:09,959
I did?

131
00:08:09,960 --> 00:08:11,640
He was delighted when I called.

132
00:08:12,020 --> 00:08:13,660
Hello? Scheduled on sunset?

133
00:08:14,060 --> 00:08:15,280
This is Polly Perkins.

134
00:08:15,840 --> 00:08:17,600
I need an escort for this afternoon.

135
00:08:19,000 --> 00:08:22,900
Well, what about that divine boy I took
to the Dinah Shore Open?

136
00:08:23,100 --> 00:08:24,079
What was his name?

137
00:08:24,080 --> 00:08:25,080
Agon, Egon.

138
00:08:25,840 --> 00:08:27,760
What? He's all tied up.

139
00:08:29,160 --> 00:08:31,400
A wiener roast at Liberace's.

140
00:08:31,900 --> 00:08:32,900
Oh, I see.

141
00:08:33,679 --> 00:08:36,020
Well, send me anyone. You know the type.

142
00:08:36,760 --> 00:08:39,260
So I reluctantly agreed to go.

143
00:08:39,930 --> 00:08:42,289
Besides, Lee didn't invite me to the
wiener rest.

144
00:08:43,510 --> 00:08:45,150
Now, back to you, young man.

145
00:08:45,390 --> 00:08:47,630
What happened when you arrived at the
Edwards?

146
00:08:56,030 --> 00:09:00,050
Hello? Hi, Cater's. Oh, come on in. I'll
show you where to set up. My name is

147
00:09:00,050 --> 00:09:04,270
Carrie, Capricorn. I'm Toby, Franklin.
I'm Bernie, Gemini. Toby's a Virgo. Ah,

148
00:09:04,330 --> 00:09:05,330
a virgin.

149
00:09:06,130 --> 00:09:07,610
How did she know?

150
00:09:07,950 --> 00:09:10,830
Could we dispense with this astrological
mumbo-jumbo?

151
00:09:12,010 --> 00:09:15,410
Mrs. Edwards, where were you when the
caterers arrived?

152
00:09:16,170 --> 00:09:17,910
Bill and I were upstairs getting
dressed.

153
00:09:18,470 --> 00:09:21,430
Darling, I need your opinion on
something. Which one of these ties do

154
00:09:21,430 --> 00:09:22,109
you prefer?

155
00:09:22,110 --> 00:09:23,110
That one.

156
00:09:23,310 --> 00:09:25,290
Really? What's wrong with this one?

157
00:09:25,490 --> 00:09:27,210
Your mother gave you the other one.

158
00:09:27,510 --> 00:09:28,189
She did?

159
00:09:28,190 --> 00:09:30,610
The same day she picked out the paint
for the living room.

160
00:09:31,450 --> 00:09:32,450
Oh, yeah.

161
00:09:32,490 --> 00:09:35,750
The week before my birthday. She wanted
to surprise us. Well, she certainly

162
00:09:35,750 --> 00:09:36,750
surprised me.

163
00:09:37,120 --> 00:09:40,020
I didn't even know there was a color
called Bloody Mary, much less it was

164
00:09:40,020 --> 00:09:41,020
your favorite.

165
00:09:41,040 --> 00:09:42,040
Mother means well.

166
00:09:42,400 --> 00:09:45,820
By the way, she's flying in from Europe
next week. Says she's sorry she's

167
00:09:45,820 --> 00:09:46,699
missing the party.

168
00:09:46,700 --> 00:09:48,380
Sorry? She should be grateful.

169
00:09:48,840 --> 00:09:49,840
I know I would be.

170
00:09:50,260 --> 00:09:52,500
I hope you know what you're doing,
darling.

171
00:09:52,820 --> 00:09:53,820
What do you mean?

172
00:09:53,940 --> 00:09:56,000
Oh, you know exactly what I mean, Bill.

173
00:09:56,220 --> 00:09:58,560
Having Grant Garrison here at this
party.

174
00:09:59,040 --> 00:10:00,380
Darling, it is his book.

175
00:10:00,960 --> 00:10:02,960
Yes, and everyone in his book will be
here, too.

176
00:10:03,640 --> 00:10:05,900
Ellen, Grant's book is fictional,
remember?

177
00:10:06,540 --> 00:10:07,900
Fiction on my ass.

178
00:10:08,560 --> 00:10:10,020
Finley disguise at best.

179
00:10:12,140 --> 00:10:15,040
That character, Dolly, is Polly Perkins,
and you know it.

180
00:10:15,300 --> 00:10:17,600
Oh, yeah? Exactly how do I know it?

181
00:10:18,260 --> 00:10:22,720
Who else calls all men erectors this,
cannot make love with the lights on, and

182
00:10:22,720 --> 00:10:25,040
performs fellatio without her uppers and
lowers?

183
00:10:25,260 --> 00:10:26,400
Who told you that?

184
00:10:26,640 --> 00:10:29,460
Jonathan Arrow. Only fellatio wasn't his
word.

185
00:10:30,000 --> 00:10:33,140
Now, you know Jonathan has no truck with
Polly ever since she scooped him on that

186
00:10:33,140 --> 00:10:37,120
Warren Beatty vasectomy. Yeah, which he
had to retract, much to Jonathan's glee.

187
00:10:37,300 --> 00:10:41,600
And they will both be here after what
Grant said about them in his book, not

188
00:10:41,600 --> 00:10:42,600
to mention the governor.

189
00:10:42,820 --> 00:10:44,740
Well, how do you think I'll look?

190
00:10:45,840 --> 00:10:46,840
Good enough to eat.

191
00:10:47,480 --> 00:10:48,840
I love it when you talk dirty.

192
00:11:15,959 --> 00:11:16,959
Me almost.

193
00:11:17,280 --> 00:11:18,280
What?

194
00:11:19,060 --> 00:11:20,039
Oh, it's you.

195
00:11:20,040 --> 00:11:22,900
Could you do me a favor and take that
tray of dips out and put it around the

196
00:11:22,900 --> 00:11:23,900
room for me?

197
00:11:23,920 --> 00:11:24,920
Sure, no problem.

198
00:11:25,360 --> 00:11:26,360
Great. Thank you.

199
00:11:59,150 --> 00:12:00,150
I beg your pardon?

200
00:12:03,010 --> 00:12:04,150
I beg your pardon?

201
00:12:05,290 --> 00:12:10,830
Oh, excuse me. I was just lay dreaming.
I mean, daydreaming. You must be Mrs.

202
00:12:10,870 --> 00:12:11,870
Edwards. Yes.

203
00:12:12,230 --> 00:12:14,210
I'm Toby, your waiter for today.

204
00:12:15,150 --> 00:12:16,150
It's nice to meet you.

205
00:12:16,330 --> 00:12:17,330
Thank you.

206
00:12:17,510 --> 00:12:19,530
Everything looks very nice.

207
00:12:19,970 --> 00:12:22,050
Well, a picnic lunch is a picnic lunch.

208
00:12:22,710 --> 00:12:24,950
Yes, well, that was my husband's idea.

209
00:12:25,430 --> 00:12:26,430
Because of the book.

210
00:12:26,650 --> 00:12:29,410
I, uh... I read it. Did we remember to
order any dip?

211
00:12:29,650 --> 00:12:33,750
Of course. We have clam, garlic and
chive, onion, and blue cheese.

212
00:12:34,050 --> 00:12:34,909
Oh, good.

213
00:12:34,910 --> 00:12:36,310
The guests should be starting to arrive.

214
00:12:36,770 --> 00:12:38,050
Who was the first to arrive?

215
00:12:38,810 --> 00:12:39,810
C'est moi.

216
00:12:40,010 --> 00:12:41,010
C'est Maya.

217
00:12:41,030 --> 00:12:41,929
May I?

218
00:12:41,930 --> 00:12:42,930
You may.

219
00:12:43,710 --> 00:12:45,090
I was the first to arrive.

220
00:13:13,040 --> 00:13:13,999
So, Patty, what?

221
00:13:14,000 --> 00:13:15,160
De foie gras.

222
00:13:15,400 --> 00:13:16,400
It's French.

223
00:13:16,520 --> 00:13:17,740
Patty, de foie gras.

224
00:13:18,000 --> 00:13:19,080
That's cute. Very cute.

225
00:13:19,340 --> 00:13:21,960
Merci. You're kind of cute yourself, Mr.
Edwards.

226
00:13:22,480 --> 00:13:24,420
But I'm not, Mrs. Edwards. Oh, yes, you
are.

227
00:13:25,300 --> 00:13:29,040
Cute, cute, cute, cute, cute, cute,
cute, cute, cute, cute, cute, cute.

228
00:13:29,500 --> 00:13:34,940
Cute. You know, Jaime, well, that's my
agent. He said that you'd be casting

229
00:13:34,940 --> 00:13:37,900
Picnic Lunch really, really, really
soon.

230
00:13:38,140 --> 00:13:41,040
And Jaime got me the invitation to come
here.

231
00:13:42,570 --> 00:13:44,330
he said that I should be really

232
00:14:13,130 --> 00:14:14,130
be persuaded to have a drink.

233
00:14:14,510 --> 00:14:15,670
I never drink alone.

234
00:14:16,190 --> 00:14:21,570
I think I'll have a sherry. A sherry.
That would be under the bar and to the

235
00:14:21,570 --> 00:14:22,570
left.

236
00:14:27,650 --> 00:14:29,690
Oh, hello, Mr. Arrow. Won't you come in?

237
00:14:29,910 --> 00:14:30,729
Thank you, Sherry.

238
00:14:30,730 --> 00:14:31,830
Why don't you just go have a drink?

239
00:14:34,290 --> 00:14:35,269
Father William.

240
00:14:35,270 --> 00:14:37,110
Yeah. Nice to see you. Have your bed.

241
00:14:37,430 --> 00:14:39,170
Fine, Jonathan. Nice to see you, too.

242
00:14:39,530 --> 00:14:41,870
Oh, may I present Miss Worth? This is
Father William.

243
00:14:43,810 --> 00:14:46,150
Sherry? Nice to meet you.

244
00:14:46,350 --> 00:14:47,350
I know.

245
00:14:48,510 --> 00:14:50,090
I'll have a scotch on the rocks.

246
00:14:50,410 --> 00:14:51,490
A scotch on the rocks, yeah.

247
00:14:52,170 --> 00:14:53,170
Oh, Sherry?

248
00:14:53,530 --> 00:14:54,710
I'll have one, too.

249
00:14:55,310 --> 00:14:56,310
Another scotch.

250
00:14:57,110 --> 00:15:00,810
Oh, Father Williams, off the record.
Have you read Picnic Lunch?

251
00:15:01,590 --> 00:15:02,590
I can bet.

252
00:15:13,680 --> 00:15:14,680
I was dreadful.

253
00:15:15,000 --> 00:15:16,960
Especially those things Grant said about
the governor.

254
00:15:17,480 --> 00:15:20,080
Well, I understand many heart patients
use amyl nitrite.

255
00:15:20,360 --> 00:15:22,540
But not at the White House.

256
00:15:22,820 --> 00:15:23,860
No, I suppose not.

257
00:15:26,300 --> 00:15:27,279
Something wrong?

258
00:15:27,280 --> 00:15:28,280
No, no.

259
00:15:28,300 --> 00:15:30,060
No, I'm just in aerobics.

260
00:15:30,700 --> 00:15:31,700
Hi,

261
00:15:32,380 --> 00:15:33,920
everybody.

262
00:15:35,240 --> 00:15:37,580
Jim, you better go upstairs and change.
Our guests are arriving.

263
00:15:37,900 --> 00:15:38,900
Right away, Dad.

264
00:15:39,120 --> 00:15:41,620
Afternoon, all. Why don't you take your
drinks and go out by the pool?

265
00:15:41,980 --> 00:15:42,980
Excellent idea.

266
00:15:43,340 --> 00:15:44,340
I could use a little son.

267
00:15:44,520 --> 00:15:46,340
And I'll bet he could use a little
father.

268
00:15:48,780 --> 00:15:49,780
How you doing, Joe?

269
00:15:49,960 --> 00:15:52,040
Never better, Jonathan. I'll meet you
out there in a minute.

270
00:15:55,460 --> 00:15:56,840
Scotch and water, please. What's your
name?

271
00:15:59,480 --> 00:16:00,480
Do you have to sneeze?

272
00:16:02,000 --> 00:16:03,180
Put your finger up to your nose.

273
00:16:04,960 --> 00:16:05,960
Funny,

274
00:16:06,520 --> 00:16:07,519
it always worked for me.

275
00:16:07,520 --> 00:16:08,520
What was your name?

276
00:16:08,700 --> 00:16:09,700
Bernie.

277
00:16:12,330 --> 00:16:13,590
She lost the contact lens.

278
00:16:14,570 --> 00:16:15,610
Hi, I'm Bill Edwards.

279
00:16:16,110 --> 00:16:18,090
Hi. Amy sent me.

280
00:16:18,590 --> 00:16:19,870
Patty. Patty?

281
00:16:20,190 --> 00:16:21,190
No, Patty.

282
00:16:21,270 --> 00:16:22,270
It's French.

283
00:16:25,430 --> 00:16:26,990
It's okay, Carrie. I'll get it.

284
00:16:29,350 --> 00:16:31,390
Hello. May I speak with Bill Edwards?

285
00:16:31,910 --> 00:16:33,750
This is Mrs. Edwards. May I help you?

286
00:16:34,170 --> 00:16:36,110
Mrs. Edwards, you've got clout.

287
00:16:37,130 --> 00:16:38,170
I beg your pardon?

288
00:16:38,770 --> 00:16:39,890
KLAP Talk Radio.

289
00:16:40,250 --> 00:16:41,330
You're on the air.

290
00:16:42,220 --> 00:16:44,780
It's the Little Jack Talk-Off Show,
where we talk to the stars.

291
00:16:45,180 --> 00:16:47,940
I've got Lucille on the line from Pismo
Beach.

292
00:16:48,220 --> 00:16:50,900
She would like to speak to... I can't
hear you, Jack.

293
00:16:51,220 --> 00:16:53,100
Hello? Hello, Lucille.

294
00:16:53,480 --> 00:16:54,700
Hello, are you there?

295
00:16:55,000 --> 00:16:56,320
The line is busy right now.

296
00:16:56,560 --> 00:17:00,720
Oh, no, I so wanted to talk to Rhonda
Rivers. Sweet girl and a dear friend.

297
00:17:01,000 --> 00:17:04,640
I read in the Star, this was her first
party since she was released from the

298
00:17:04,640 --> 00:17:08,099
Betty Ford Drug Rehabilitation Clinic.
She's on the comeback trail, all right.

299
00:17:08,180 --> 00:17:11,119
And all thanks to my dear friend, Babsy
Ford.

300
00:17:11,720 --> 00:17:13,819
Thanks for calling us, Lucille. Gotta
run.

301
00:17:14,099 --> 00:17:17,300
Mr. Garrison, at what point did you
arrive at these proceedings?

302
00:17:17,839 --> 00:17:23,040
Why, uh, shortly before Polly and, uh...
What's his name? It's Lance.

303
00:17:28,000 --> 00:17:29,480
Thanks, Polly. What are you doing?

304
00:17:29,740 --> 00:17:32,940
That Grant Garrison, the son of a bitch
that wrote that book.

305
00:17:33,640 --> 00:17:36,380
Damn it, missed him. Well, maybe on the
way out.

306
00:17:36,780 --> 00:17:37,780
Uh-uh-uh.

307
00:17:38,900 --> 00:17:40,020
Tell me about it.

308
00:17:41,740 --> 00:17:43,220
Hello, Grant, darling.

309
00:17:43,620 --> 00:17:44,620
Read your book.

310
00:17:44,900 --> 00:17:46,960
Oh, Polly dear, how nice to see you.

311
00:17:48,080 --> 00:17:50,660
Care for a stick of free dents? Oh, come
on.

312
00:17:55,240 --> 00:17:59,200
This reporter was in attendance at the
party given by the Edwards.

313
00:17:59,520 --> 00:18:00,520
A Bill and Ellen.

314
00:18:00,860 --> 00:18:03,440
Ellen was wearing a cobalt... Who cares?

315
00:18:03,640 --> 00:18:06,680
Get to the point. What happened after
you arrived?

316
00:18:07,290 --> 00:18:12,570
Well, after Mr. Garrison jumped in front
of my car and I had to swerve to avoid

317
00:18:12,570 --> 00:18:15,090
him, we went in to say hello to our
host.

318
00:18:15,350 --> 00:18:16,470
Ellen, darling.

319
00:18:16,670 --> 00:18:17,670
Polly.

320
00:18:18,290 --> 00:18:20,650
Ellen, dear, about this color.

321
00:18:20,990 --> 00:18:21,990
Do you like it?

322
00:18:22,030 --> 00:18:25,050
Well, either Norma Desmond lives or your
roof is bleeding.

323
00:18:29,350 --> 00:18:30,350
Oh, my God.

324
00:18:30,510 --> 00:18:31,730
I'm so sorry.

325
00:18:32,110 --> 00:18:33,950
No, no, look, it's okay. It's my fault.

326
00:18:34,270 --> 00:18:35,270
Really.

327
00:18:35,530 --> 00:18:36,870
Let me help you. Thank you.

328
00:18:41,570 --> 00:18:42,570
There's more in the oven.

329
00:18:42,990 --> 00:18:44,630
Of course, Green. No one will know the
difference.

330
00:18:45,210 --> 00:18:47,390
Yeah, well, that's what Carrie said
about the pate.

331
00:18:48,110 --> 00:18:49,110
Well, she's right.

332
00:18:49,190 --> 00:18:50,910
By the way, my name's Jennifer.

333
00:18:51,970 --> 00:18:52,970
I'm Toby.

334
00:18:53,170 --> 00:18:54,670
My friends call me Jenny.

335
00:18:55,830 --> 00:18:57,590
My friends call me Toby.

336
00:18:59,030 --> 00:19:00,030
Hi, Toby.

337
00:19:00,230 --> 00:19:01,230
Hi, Jenny.

338
00:19:02,810 --> 00:19:07,450
I saw you earlier out by the pool.
You've got some, uh, some breaststroke.

339
00:19:08,170 --> 00:19:09,610
Thanks. Do you swim?

340
00:19:10,250 --> 00:19:11,250
Like a mink.

341
00:19:11,830 --> 00:19:15,210
You better get those out to the party.
You don't want to lose your job.

342
00:19:15,470 --> 00:19:16,470
My job?

343
00:19:17,690 --> 00:19:18,770
My job, yeah.

344
00:19:19,410 --> 00:19:21,990
Um, right. Will I be seeing you around?

345
00:19:22,550 --> 00:19:24,210
Probably. I live here.

346
00:19:24,490 --> 00:19:26,910
Now stay tuned for Uncle Willie's
Weather Watch.

347
00:19:28,610 --> 00:19:31,610
K-L-A-T-X-M-N-20.

348
00:19:32,929 --> 00:19:35,790
Hello. It's Uncle Willie's weather
watch, and I'm Uncle Willie, here to

349
00:19:35,790 --> 00:19:36,850
watch the weather for all of you.

350
00:19:37,230 --> 00:19:40,610
Storm clouds continue to cloud the view
of Mount St. Helens, where an eruption

351
00:19:40,610 --> 00:19:42,630
is due to really erupt late in the day.

352
00:19:43,030 --> 00:19:46,310
But have no fear, Willie is here,
checking his seismograph.

353
00:19:46,710 --> 00:19:49,890
If any cracks should open up, Willie's
got the size.

354
00:19:51,750 --> 00:19:54,050
Sarah, darling, lovely to see you.

355
00:19:54,470 --> 00:19:58,690
It's obvious she's out for a part in the
picture showing all that cleavage. What

356
00:19:58,690 --> 00:20:00,130
a set of cleaves.

357
00:20:00,390 --> 00:20:01,390
Greg!

358
00:20:01,740 --> 00:20:04,280
Forgive me, this is my new protege,
Lance Palmer.

359
00:20:04,520 --> 00:20:06,240
He certainly looks like a pro, all
right.

360
00:20:06,440 --> 00:20:08,880
A regular erectus, that. And what do you
do?

361
00:20:09,540 --> 00:20:10,540
I study.

362
00:20:10,640 --> 00:20:13,720
Isn't he amusing, such a sense of humor?
And so articulate.

363
00:20:14,280 --> 00:20:16,580
Folly, dear, wherever do you find them?

364
00:20:16,820 --> 00:20:21,020
Oh, they find me, dear, they find me. I
didn't find you. You will, dear, you

365
00:20:21,020 --> 00:20:24,860
will. You must forgive Lance. He's
really quite a little... Puff?

366
00:20:25,320 --> 00:20:27,240
Hey! Who are you calling Puff?

367
00:20:28,320 --> 00:20:30,620
Excuse me, uh, Pastry Puff.

368
00:20:31,800 --> 00:20:33,020
Oh, sorry, my man.

369
00:20:33,260 --> 00:20:35,120
Just don't want nobody getting the wrong
idea.

370
00:20:35,400 --> 00:20:36,620
I don't do guys.

371
00:20:36,860 --> 00:20:37,860
That's a switch.

372
00:20:38,380 --> 00:20:40,800
I tell you, Bill, it was a revelation.

373
00:20:41,000 --> 00:20:45,020
I stood there in awe. The moment she
took her bra off, she was beautiful.

374
00:20:45,780 --> 00:20:46,880
Absolutely beautiful.

375
00:20:47,240 --> 00:20:50,260
Really? Tits fell down and pulled every
wrinkle out of her face.

376
00:20:53,480 --> 00:20:57,420
Oh, Senator Stevens, so glad you could
come. So... Oh, and Rhonda, darling,

377
00:20:57,520 --> 00:21:03,780
it's been too long. Oh, too, too long.
You look... Did you have a talk?

378
00:21:04,060 --> 00:21:06,100
Sit your tongue, you know. Come have a
drink.

379
00:21:06,420 --> 00:21:09,760
Bill's around the house somewhere. Oh,
how is Bill? Is he still switch hitting?

380
00:21:09,920 --> 00:21:11,060
Not to my knowledge.

381
00:21:12,220 --> 00:21:13,400
My God, Ellen.

382
00:21:14,180 --> 00:21:15,320
You live in a tomato.

383
00:21:20,400 --> 00:21:21,400
Bats?

384
00:21:22,760 --> 00:21:24,340
The Edwards are having another party.

385
00:21:24,660 --> 00:21:26,340
The fifth one this month.

386
00:21:26,900 --> 00:21:28,460
Better not get out of hand.

387
00:21:28,840 --> 00:21:31,200
Well, isn't it nice they have so many
friends?

388
00:21:31,960 --> 00:21:32,960
Friends?

389
00:21:33,360 --> 00:21:35,260
A bunch of degenerates.

390
00:21:35,620 --> 00:21:40,500
Eating, drinking, smoking dope, eating
cocaine.

391
00:21:41,420 --> 00:21:43,280
I don't think they eat it, dear.

392
00:21:43,620 --> 00:21:47,660
No self-suspecting person of the right
mind would be caught dead down there.

393
00:21:47,820 --> 00:21:51,520
Nothing but a bunch of prostitutes and
perverts.

394
00:21:52,080 --> 00:21:54,780
Oh, I see that the governor's coming,
too.

395
00:21:55,280 --> 00:21:56,700
And politicians.

396
00:21:57,660 --> 00:22:03,860
Politicians will be in evidence today at
that party given by Bill Edwards.

397
00:22:04,700 --> 00:22:09,700
Rumor has it that the governor himself
will attend, minus the first lady.

398
00:22:09,980 --> 00:22:15,380
As I have reported previously, something
is definitely up in the governor's

399
00:22:15,380 --> 00:22:16,380
personal life.

400
00:22:16,460 --> 00:22:18,720
But not with the first lady, it would
seem.

401
00:22:31,540 --> 00:22:32,560
Stuffed grape leaves.

402
00:22:32,800 --> 00:22:34,940
Thank God. I was afraid they had a dog.

403
00:22:35,380 --> 00:22:38,540
Is everything all right? Lovely, and
these are divine.

404
00:22:38,920 --> 00:22:41,720
Well, I mustn't give you some. Bill's
mother makes them, and I've got an

405
00:22:41,720 --> 00:22:44,060
absolute freezer full. They're called
squidney.

406
00:22:44,700 --> 00:22:45,860
Kidney and squid.

407
00:22:48,420 --> 00:22:50,860
That's a hungry crock. You ain't seen
nothing yet.

408
00:22:51,080 --> 00:22:52,080
What do you mean?

409
00:22:52,280 --> 00:22:53,280
Evelyn's out there.

410
00:22:53,720 --> 00:22:54,699
Who's Evelyn?

411
00:22:54,700 --> 00:22:56,500
Her father owns Public Pictures.

412
00:22:56,840 --> 00:22:58,760
Oh, yeah. I saw him on Entertainment
Tonight.

413
00:22:59,240 --> 00:23:01,700
I think he slept through the whole
thing. Yeah, well, that's him. He's out

414
00:23:01,700 --> 00:23:04,300
there, too, so you've got to be real
nice, even when Evelyn is eating

415
00:23:04,300 --> 00:23:05,440
everything in sight.

416
00:23:05,820 --> 00:23:09,580
Except men, if you catch my drift.
You're kidding. You mean she's a... Old

417
00:23:09,580 --> 00:23:10,580
Dyke City.

418
00:23:10,680 --> 00:23:11,680
Really?

419
00:23:12,060 --> 00:23:14,400
They say she rolls her own tampon.

420
00:23:15,160 --> 00:23:17,400
Trip? None for him. He's dieting.

421
00:23:18,020 --> 00:23:20,820
Trip? Thanks. My metabolism is shot
today.

422
00:23:26,920 --> 00:23:28,160
as munchkins in The Wizard of Oz.

423
00:23:28,740 --> 00:23:29,740
Here,

424
00:23:30,400 --> 00:23:31,299
hold it, honey.

425
00:23:31,300 --> 00:23:32,660
I'll be right back.

426
00:23:33,400 --> 00:23:34,720
Shh. Go back.

427
00:23:37,100 --> 00:23:38,100
Grant,

428
00:23:38,600 --> 00:23:39,599
dear.

429
00:23:39,600 --> 00:23:43,840
Evelyn, how nice to see you. Thanks. I
just wanted to tell you how much I

430
00:23:43,840 --> 00:23:44,980
enjoyed your book.

431
00:23:45,380 --> 00:23:47,800
It burned beautifully.

432
00:23:48,620 --> 00:23:51,820
Mr. Garrison, I gather your book is
somewhat inflammatory.

433
00:23:52,300 --> 00:23:53,460
No pun intended.

434
00:23:54,180 --> 00:23:55,840
It's fictional, Your Honor.

435
00:23:56,120 --> 00:23:56,749
May I?

436
00:23:56,750 --> 00:23:57,770
Aye, Your Honor.

437
00:23:58,330 --> 00:24:01,110
Anytime, Miss Rivers. I'm a big fan of
yours.

438
00:24:01,370 --> 00:24:04,830
Well, thank you, Your Honor. I do my
best.

439
00:24:05,250 --> 00:24:06,690
What did you wish to say?

440
00:24:07,110 --> 00:24:13,890
Well, just that. Although Grant claims
his book to be fictional, I believe

441
00:24:13,890 --> 00:24:16,890
it is a masterpiece of reportage.

442
00:24:17,970 --> 00:24:20,730
And quite accurate, too.

443
00:24:20,970 --> 00:24:22,670
She also wants a part in the picture.

444
00:24:23,270 --> 00:24:25,170
Over my dead body.

445
00:24:26,629 --> 00:24:27,830
That could be a witch.

446
00:24:28,290 --> 00:24:30,270
No fighting, please.

447
00:24:31,490 --> 00:24:32,590
What happens next?

448
00:24:33,530 --> 00:24:34,269
Oh, dear.

449
00:24:34,270 --> 00:24:35,270
Thank you.

450
00:24:37,170 --> 00:24:41,310
You know, sugar, if you could learn how
to cook like this, we'd get rid of the

451
00:24:41,310 --> 00:24:42,310
maid.

452
00:24:42,390 --> 00:24:45,090
And if you could fuck, we could get rid
of the chauffeur.

453
00:24:45,770 --> 00:24:48,030
Rhonda, sweetheart, long time no see.

454
00:24:48,810 --> 00:24:50,150
Senator. Jonathan.

455
00:24:51,050 --> 00:24:53,910
Honey, pokey baby, could you give me
another dream?

456
00:24:54,250 --> 00:24:55,250
Why, sure.

457
00:24:58,560 --> 00:25:00,680
Well, Jonathan, you're looking well.

458
00:25:00,920 --> 00:25:03,400
Well, you always did have your share of
the muscle.

459
00:25:04,300 --> 00:25:05,840
And in the right places.

460
00:25:06,500 --> 00:25:07,500
Oh, you remember.

461
00:25:08,080 --> 00:25:10,500
Oh, one doesn't forget pleasure only
pain.

462
00:25:10,940 --> 00:25:12,660
You know, I was hoping you'd be here.

463
00:25:13,180 --> 00:25:14,240
I need a favor.

464
00:25:14,780 --> 00:25:19,860
It's yours for the asking. Well, I'm
thinking of making a comeback as a drug

465
00:25:19,860 --> 00:25:22,440
-free person and an example to the
American people.

466
00:25:22,900 --> 00:25:24,220
Hopefully in picnic lunch.

467
00:25:25,520 --> 00:25:27,900
Is the role of the senator's wife
wearing a little thin?

468
00:25:29,640 --> 00:25:31,360
Absolutely anorectic.

469
00:25:32,020 --> 00:25:34,400
But I don't think I'm really cut out to
be a wife.

470
00:25:35,200 --> 00:25:37,380
Well, you should know that. You're my
third husband.

471
00:25:38,540 --> 00:25:40,540
Fourth. Well, whatever.

472
00:25:40,880 --> 00:25:46,020
At any rate, I would appreciate your
mentioning in your column that I'm

473
00:25:46,020 --> 00:25:48,140
perfect for the lead in picnic
luncheons.

474
00:25:50,120 --> 00:25:51,120
I'm available.

475
00:25:53,040 --> 00:25:54,480
And are you available?

476
00:25:59,470 --> 00:26:00,810
Think you just got yourself a mention.

477
00:26:01,230 --> 00:26:05,350
We got a pink lady for the lady and a
bull shot for the... Watch it!

478
00:26:44,970 --> 00:26:47,170
It's kind of hard to believe, but I'm
sitting in potato salad.

479
00:26:47,430 --> 00:26:49,030
I thought it was something like that.

480
00:26:49,890 --> 00:26:51,990
It's sort of a facial for my buns.

481
00:26:52,270 --> 00:26:53,350
It's also a mess.

482
00:26:53,750 --> 00:26:57,090
The lady's very observant. I'd better
get you a pair of dad's pants.

483
00:27:00,070 --> 00:27:02,310
Jenny, the things we could do with
potato salad.

484
00:27:10,050 --> 00:27:11,850
Good Lord, what happened?

485
00:27:12,710 --> 00:27:13,870
There was a live grenade.

486
00:27:14,250 --> 00:27:15,029
Potato salad.

487
00:27:15,030 --> 00:27:16,710
Oh, I believe you.

488
00:27:17,110 --> 00:27:18,110
Terrorists are everywhere.

489
00:27:28,670 --> 00:27:29,670
Back,

490
00:27:32,610 --> 00:27:33,610
all right? Excuse me.

491
00:27:34,090 --> 00:27:35,210
Hold on just a moment, Alan.

492
00:27:35,410 --> 00:27:39,490
Yes? I hope you won't think I'm being
rude, but you're using my private phone.

493
00:27:39,750 --> 00:27:43,030
And unfortunately, I'm responsible for
paying the bill.

494
00:27:43,530 --> 00:27:46,750
So if you don't mind, could you use my
parents' phone? They are loaded.

495
00:27:47,270 --> 00:27:48,270
No problem.

496
00:27:48,430 --> 00:27:51,150
Thanks, I appreciate it. Alice, look, I
don't have to call you back, okay?

497
00:27:53,590 --> 00:27:56,650
You know, if I were you, I'd hide the
phone away for the time being.

498
00:27:57,130 --> 00:27:58,310
You know how these parties are.

499
00:27:58,530 --> 00:28:00,290
I admire your films, beaucoup.

500
00:28:00,730 --> 00:28:01,730
Really, I do.

501
00:28:01,950 --> 00:28:03,370
Oh, thank you. Thank you very much.

502
00:28:03,610 --> 00:28:05,710
Well, you know, you don't know the half
of it.

503
00:28:06,010 --> 00:28:07,750
You know, I would do anything.

504
00:28:08,550 --> 00:28:10,430
You know, anything.

505
00:28:11,820 --> 00:28:13,260
To be in your next picture.

506
00:28:13,800 --> 00:28:16,120
Well, why don't you have your agent get
in touch with me?

507
00:28:16,740 --> 00:28:17,740
Whatever for?

508
00:28:17,840 --> 00:28:19,280
I mean, give the lousy head.

509
00:28:20,280 --> 00:28:21,340
Would you care for a cigarette?

510
00:28:21,600 --> 00:28:23,060
Anything to curb my appetite.

511
00:28:24,100 --> 00:28:25,100
You know what you mean.

512
00:28:25,180 --> 00:28:26,280
I could eat a horse.

513
00:28:26,960 --> 00:28:29,100
I'll call Bill's mother for the rest of
the day.

514
00:28:29,620 --> 00:28:32,600
Evelyn, you seem upset today.

515
00:28:33,240 --> 00:28:34,280
Knock it off, Grant.

516
00:28:34,640 --> 00:28:36,340
I read the stupid book.

517
00:28:36,840 --> 00:28:39,280
You called me an aging decadent.

518
00:28:39,870 --> 00:28:42,310
Evelyn, I meant that in the kindest way
possible.

519
00:28:43,370 --> 00:28:47,130
I referred to you as a debutante to let
the reader know you have a lot of balls.

520
00:28:47,870 --> 00:28:48,849
Very funny.

521
00:28:48,850 --> 00:28:51,470
I hope you're laughing when I slap you
with a lawsuit.

522
00:28:52,190 --> 00:28:53,250
Ah, a lawsuit.

523
00:28:53,630 --> 00:28:54,670
You and the governor.

524
00:28:54,910 --> 00:28:56,610
The governor. Is he suing too?

525
00:28:57,230 --> 00:28:58,670
Well, I've heard rumor of that effect.

526
00:28:59,130 --> 00:29:04,290
But since my book is fictional, only my
fictional governor cheats on his wife.

527
00:29:05,010 --> 00:29:08,050
Now, if the real governor takes it to
court, he'll be admitting that he does

528
00:29:08,050 --> 00:29:09,050
too.

529
00:29:09,070 --> 00:29:12,210
And I don't think the governor or
anybody wants to admit they've been

530
00:29:12,210 --> 00:29:13,510
fictionalized in my book.

531
00:29:15,530 --> 00:29:17,050
Not even Dieseldeb.

532
00:29:20,750 --> 00:29:21,750
I hope that's it.

533
00:29:22,090 --> 00:29:23,009
Yes, why?

534
00:29:23,010 --> 00:29:26,530
Hey, we've got to order some more food.
The potato salad has definitely had it.

535
00:29:26,590 --> 00:29:27,730
I thought the same thing.

536
00:29:27,930 --> 00:29:28,930
It's getting late.

537
00:29:29,150 --> 00:29:30,290
Why don't we call Wong's?

538
00:29:30,550 --> 00:29:33,230
Wong's? It's a Chinese takeout, and they
deliver.

539
00:29:33,430 --> 00:29:34,750
I've got the number here somewhere.

540
00:29:35,410 --> 00:29:36,710
The Chinese at a picnic?

541
00:29:37,380 --> 00:29:38,319
Here's the number.

542
00:29:38,320 --> 00:29:39,820
You don't want to see Evelyn starve.

543
00:29:40,280 --> 00:29:42,960
No, no, Evelyn will be okay. I just took
her a whole plate of shrimp. She'll be

544
00:29:42,960 --> 00:29:46,820
fine. Toby, giving Evelyn a plate of
shrimp is like putting a band-aid on a

545
00:29:46,820 --> 00:29:49,260
leper. Yeah, I think I see what you
mean.

546
00:29:49,480 --> 00:29:52,820
I'll go see how the dips are holding
out. I've got one more tray of cold

547
00:29:52,820 --> 00:29:55,800
green. I really don't think this is
going to be a banner day.

548
00:29:58,880 --> 00:29:59,880
There's someone on the line.

549
00:30:00,100 --> 00:30:02,900
There's a private line in Jenny's room.
Pink room at the end of the hall,

550
00:30:03,000 --> 00:30:04,000
upstairs.

551
00:30:18,060 --> 00:30:21,140
So, Vicki, I haven't seen you since
Liza's concert. What have you been doing

552
00:30:21,140 --> 00:30:22,140
with yourself?

553
00:30:22,580 --> 00:30:24,200
I don't do it with myself anymore.

554
00:31:14,080 --> 00:31:15,080
Rhonda!

555
00:31:15,380 --> 00:31:16,380
Rhonda!

556
00:31:44,170 --> 00:31:45,169
Is this wrong?

557
00:31:45,170 --> 00:31:46,690
Wong's? Wong's Takeout?

558
00:31:47,470 --> 00:31:48,950
Yeah, look, I need to place an order.

559
00:31:50,090 --> 00:31:52,390
Do you have any potato salad?

560
00:31:55,010 --> 00:31:59,430
We should have had a child. Did you want
one? No. No, no, no. I didn't say one

561
00:31:59,430 --> 00:32:02,310
time. No, look, I need something for a
party.

562
00:32:03,250 --> 00:32:04,310
Oh, that's nice.

563
00:32:04,870 --> 00:32:07,710
Nice. No, no, I didn't say rice.

564
00:32:08,610 --> 00:32:09,610
Wait,

565
00:32:09,810 --> 00:32:10,910
that's not a bad idea.

566
00:32:12,590 --> 00:32:13,590
You're out of rice?

567
00:32:17,800 --> 00:32:20,180
I know you know I need it. Why the hell
do you think I called?

568
00:32:20,660 --> 00:32:23,520
I need this for about 35 people.

569
00:32:24,280 --> 00:32:25,280
Yeah, whatever you got.

570
00:32:25,980 --> 00:32:28,420
Send it to 2310 Bower Lane.

571
00:32:29,540 --> 00:32:30,540
Right.

572
00:32:31,620 --> 00:32:32,620
Thanks.

573
00:32:47,340 --> 00:32:52,380
with one of those, you know, a phallus.
And one night, he had me spread whipped

574
00:32:52,380 --> 00:32:59,120
cream all over my body. And then he had
me put an olive, one on each

575
00:32:59,120 --> 00:33:03,320
breast. Not a cherry like you think, but
an olive.

576
00:33:03,520 --> 00:33:05,200
Black ones, unpitted.

577
00:33:05,400 --> 00:33:06,400
I remember.

578
00:33:06,720 --> 00:33:07,720
That's weird.

579
00:33:10,600 --> 00:33:16,160
Wait. It gets even weirder. And then he
had me put a pickle in my mouth. A

580
00:33:16,160 --> 00:33:17,160
whole...

581
00:33:20,620 --> 00:33:22,620
a washing machine, on the rinse cycle.

582
00:33:22,820 --> 00:33:26,940
And then he said, do you have any
girlfriends who own a Volvo, a stick

583
00:33:26,940 --> 00:33:30,140
ship? And when I said no, he hung up.

584
00:33:32,040 --> 00:33:33,040
Say, Abby.

585
00:33:33,660 --> 00:33:35,520
I finally got the order in. What'd you
get?

586
00:33:35,760 --> 00:33:37,080
I don't know, but I'll be in the
kitchen.

587
00:33:38,440 --> 00:33:40,460
Senator Stevens, have you met Father
Williams?

588
00:33:40,680 --> 00:33:42,360
Why, of course. He was my Rhonda's
second.

589
00:33:42,620 --> 00:33:44,180
Oh, yes. I forgot.

590
00:33:44,540 --> 00:33:46,100
Third. Third.

591
00:33:46,340 --> 00:33:47,340
Right. Third.

592
00:33:47,900 --> 00:33:49,300
I left Judas and showed him.

593
00:33:51,020 --> 00:33:52,020
William Berg.

594
00:33:52,820 --> 00:33:56,500
That's not too Jewish, is it? No, it's
not, is it? Where is Ronald?

595
00:33:56,700 --> 00:34:00,480
Well, actually, last I saw she was
drawing with Jonathan, but I could use

596
00:34:00,480 --> 00:34:01,480
another drink. Anyone else?

597
00:34:01,940 --> 00:34:03,460
No. No, I'm fine.

598
00:34:03,800 --> 00:34:04,800
That's a matter of opinion.

599
00:34:10,060 --> 00:34:11,739
What in the heck was that all about?

600
00:34:12,179 --> 00:34:14,920
She wanted a cocktail, so I told her
one.

601
00:34:18,920 --> 00:34:21,060
I hope they don't make that noise all
night. It'll keep me awake.

602
00:34:21,320 --> 00:34:23,040
That might be a pleasant change.

603
00:34:23,739 --> 00:34:25,540
Just what is that supposed to mean?

604
00:34:25,980 --> 00:34:28,179
Well, it has been quite a while.

605
00:34:28,639 --> 00:34:31,400
Well, that's not my fault. You're the
one who's frigid.

606
00:34:31,840 --> 00:34:32,840
Frigid?

607
00:34:33,040 --> 00:34:34,620
What do you mean by that?

608
00:34:35,460 --> 00:34:39,060
Last time you spread your legs, the
furnace turned on.

609
00:34:40,540 --> 00:34:42,520
You know what's wrong with you, Rex?

610
00:34:43,380 --> 00:34:44,380
Everything.

611
00:34:44,580 --> 00:34:48,020
Yeah? I suppose you'd rather be down
there with that bunk.

612
00:34:48,810 --> 00:34:51,889
Well, it does seem to me that they know
how to have a little fun.

613
00:34:52,210 --> 00:34:53,610
Fun? Fun?

614
00:34:53,969 --> 00:34:54,969
You want to see fun?

615
00:34:55,070 --> 00:34:56,770
You want to see fun? I'm going to show
you fun.

616
00:34:57,190 --> 00:34:58,390
What are you going to do?

617
00:34:58,630 --> 00:34:59,970
I'm going to move this rock.

618
00:35:03,010 --> 00:35:05,290
Are you enjoying the party, Mr. Taylor?

619
00:35:07,390 --> 00:35:08,390
Isn't that nice?

620
00:35:12,510 --> 00:35:14,150
What do you call these delicious little
noodles?

621
00:35:14,390 --> 00:35:15,390
No, no.

622
00:35:15,550 --> 00:35:17,890
All right. That makes sense. Okay, look.
Put them down over here.

623
00:35:19,000 --> 00:35:20,000
It's Bill.

624
00:35:20,300 --> 00:35:21,300
It's Bill what?

625
00:35:21,340 --> 00:35:22,340
It's Noodle Bill.

626
00:35:22,700 --> 00:35:23,700
Oh, right, right.

627
00:35:24,320 --> 00:35:26,160
All right, let's see what the damages
are here.

628
00:35:27,240 --> 00:35:29,340
$97.50 for a bunch of fucking noodles?

629
00:35:30,020 --> 00:35:31,420
No, no fucking noodles.

630
00:35:31,700 --> 00:35:32,700
Eat noodles.

631
00:35:33,340 --> 00:35:36,380
Yeah, right. Okay, look. Why don't you
just come over here and sit tight, and

632
00:35:36,380 --> 00:35:37,740
I'll go down to the pool and get your
cash.

633
00:35:37,940 --> 00:35:38,940
For Mr. Edwards?

634
00:35:39,460 --> 00:35:40,460
Your money.

635
00:35:40,700 --> 00:35:42,020
Yen? Get paid.

636
00:35:42,360 --> 00:35:43,720
Oh, get paid, get paid.

637
00:35:44,020 --> 00:35:45,020
Right, get paid.

638
00:35:45,500 --> 00:35:47,940
Get paid, sit tight. Get paid, sit
tight.

639
00:35:52,710 --> 00:35:53,710
I was just looking for my husband.

640
00:35:54,070 --> 00:35:55,070
Have you seen Bill?

641
00:35:55,530 --> 00:35:56,790
Waiter. Waiter had Bill.

642
00:35:57,670 --> 00:35:58,950
I don't understand.

643
00:35:59,150 --> 00:36:00,590
Waiter. You mean Toby?

644
00:36:01,210 --> 00:36:03,130
Toby. Toby. Toby had Bill.

645
00:36:04,390 --> 00:36:05,450
Toby had Bill?

646
00:36:05,810 --> 00:36:07,550
Toby goes down. Get paid.

647
00:36:08,330 --> 00:36:11,770
Toby went down on Bill and got paid for
it? $97.50.

648
00:36:12,790 --> 00:36:15,710
Where do I get my hands on him? I'll fix
his ass.

649
00:36:17,370 --> 00:36:18,269
Oh, hi.

650
00:36:18,270 --> 00:36:19,770
We just got here. Herb and I.

651
00:36:21,580 --> 00:36:22,580
Fix that.

652
00:36:22,920 --> 00:36:24,760
Oh, thank you.

653
00:36:28,920 --> 00:36:35,180
I just spoke to a Chinese boy in the
kitchen, and he said that

654
00:36:35,180 --> 00:36:36,800
you had Bill.

655
00:36:37,380 --> 00:36:39,520
Oh, I was hoping you wouldn't find out.

656
00:36:40,100 --> 00:36:41,760
Well, the truth of the matter is I blew
it.

657
00:36:42,020 --> 00:36:43,760
But it only cost $97.50.

658
00:36:44,240 --> 00:36:45,320
$97.50?

659
00:36:45,660 --> 00:36:46,660
Oh, it's a lot to eat.

660
00:36:54,800 --> 00:36:55,800
for the laundry.

661
00:36:58,000 --> 00:36:59,000
Here's scotch.

662
00:36:59,340 --> 00:37:00,340
Make it a double.

663
00:37:00,460 --> 00:37:01,460
Say, ma'am.

664
00:37:02,240 --> 00:37:03,940
Just as soon as I'm drunk enough.

665
00:37:04,520 --> 00:37:07,280
I'll have you know I still have my
mate's head.

666
00:37:08,420 --> 00:37:09,660
What's it on, a hinge?

667
00:37:16,000 --> 00:37:17,760
Have you ever seen Mr. Edwards?

668
00:37:18,000 --> 00:37:18,939
He just went upstairs.

669
00:37:18,940 --> 00:37:19,819
Sure, thanks.

670
00:37:19,820 --> 00:37:21,880
I'd knock if I were you.

671
00:37:28,430 --> 00:37:29,430
What's wrong?

672
00:37:29,570 --> 00:37:30,570
It's your organ.

673
00:37:31,530 --> 00:37:32,990
I don't think it's big enough.

674
00:37:34,170 --> 00:37:35,970
Well, I didn't know I'd be playing at a
cathedral.

675
00:37:37,030 --> 00:37:38,850
Oh, no, it's your wife.

676
00:37:39,090 --> 00:37:42,190
No, it's not my wife. She would knock.
She'd just try the knob. It's your wife.

677
00:37:42,250 --> 00:37:44,370
I know it's your wife. It's always the
wife.

678
00:37:46,370 --> 00:37:47,410
Where can I hide?

679
00:37:47,930 --> 00:37:48,930
In there.

680
00:37:49,250 --> 00:37:50,250
The closet.

681
00:37:50,290 --> 00:37:51,450
It's always the closet.

682
00:37:52,390 --> 00:37:54,350
Who is it? It's Toby, sir, the waiter.

683
00:37:55,470 --> 00:37:56,710
Toby, what do you want?

684
00:37:58,479 --> 00:37:59,479
interrupting something.

685
00:37:59,560 --> 00:38:05,220
No. Uh, I mean, uh, no. No, I was just,
I was changing. Mm, gum it, Paulie, gum

686
00:38:05,220 --> 00:38:07,740
it. Yes, I was gonna change into my
swimsuit.

687
00:38:08,420 --> 00:38:11,480
I thought I might have a dip. Yeah, I
recommend the blue cheese. That is, if

688
00:38:11,480 --> 00:38:12,299
there's any left.

689
00:38:12,300 --> 00:38:15,620
What? Sir, you know, why don't I have
you alone? Um, I thought I might talk to

690
00:38:15,620 --> 00:38:16,598
you for a second.

691
00:38:16,600 --> 00:38:20,320
I know, uh, you wrote Picnic Lunch, and
I think I'm perfect for the part of the

692
00:38:20,320 --> 00:38:21,019
college boy.

693
00:38:21,020 --> 00:38:22,020
Uh, are you an actor?

694
00:38:22,160 --> 00:38:24,740
Yes, sir, uh, and I think it's a part
I've always wanted to play.

695
00:38:25,120 --> 00:38:27,340
I, I really think I can suck the juice
out of it, you know? Again?

696
00:38:28,460 --> 00:38:29,319
How dare you?

697
00:38:29,320 --> 00:38:30,320
Sweetheart, what's wrong?

698
00:38:30,360 --> 00:38:33,840
Don't you sweetheart me. I know what
you're up to. The Chinese boy told me.

699
00:38:34,020 --> 00:38:37,320
The Chinese boy? Oh, yeah, the Chinese
boy. He needs $97.50.

700
00:38:37,620 --> 00:38:39,340
Oh, what then? A threesome?

701
00:38:39,840 --> 00:38:41,440
What in the hell are you talking about?

702
00:38:41,660 --> 00:38:45,460
You know damn well what I'm talking
about, and I won't stand for it. Well,

703
00:38:45,480 --> 00:38:46,480
then sit down.

704
00:38:46,500 --> 00:38:48,980
Uh, you know, I think I'll just kind of
hang out outside.

705
00:38:49,420 --> 00:38:50,420
Do that.

706
00:38:51,340 --> 00:38:55,900
Oh, excuse me. I'm so tired today. I
didn't get to sleep till after three.

707
00:38:56,580 --> 00:38:57,640
Two are usually enough.

708
00:38:58,200 --> 00:39:01,500
Who are we going to get $97.50 from? Are
the characters really based on real

709
00:39:01,500 --> 00:39:05,460
life? Actually, Rhonda and I had
fabulous sex when we first got married.

710
00:39:06,720 --> 00:39:07,940
And she started waking up?

711
00:39:08,640 --> 00:39:09,880
Hey, Bernie, you got any cash?

712
00:39:10,160 --> 00:39:11,160
About 20 bucks.

713
00:39:11,180 --> 00:39:12,280
Damn, that's not enough. What's that?

714
00:39:12,700 --> 00:39:13,700
Look, I'll tell you later.

715
00:39:14,140 --> 00:39:17,260
No, what I mean is, have you ever been
picked up by the fuzz?

716
00:39:18,160 --> 00:39:20,420
No, I'm sure it hurts like hell.

717
00:39:21,840 --> 00:39:22,960
Hi there.

718
00:39:23,260 --> 00:39:25,080
Bet you thought I forgot all about you,
huh?

719
00:39:25,280 --> 00:39:26,280
Where's Bill?

720
00:39:26,380 --> 00:39:28,240
Oh, he's upstairs fighting with his wife
right now.

721
00:39:28,560 --> 00:39:29,900
Noodle Bill, get paid.

722
00:39:30,340 --> 00:39:33,540
Oh, yeah, right. Look, I'm taking care
of it, really. I am. Trust me.

723
00:39:33,840 --> 00:39:38,060
I'm really taking care of it. Hey, man,
you got any food in here? I mean, it's

724
00:39:38,060 --> 00:39:39,440
like much city out there.

725
00:39:40,400 --> 00:39:42,140
Look, I'll tell you, the food will be
out in a little while. Why don't you

726
00:39:42,140 --> 00:39:43,140
just hang on, okay?

727
00:39:43,160 --> 00:39:44,340
No yen, no noodle.

728
00:39:44,700 --> 00:39:47,120
Hey, man, I got the yen. I can eat my
brain.

729
00:39:47,780 --> 00:39:50,140
You don't order brain, order noodle. I
know, I know.

730
00:39:50,540 --> 00:39:52,060
Hey, man, you got any nuts, man?

731
00:39:56,840 --> 00:39:57,840
Well, I should say so.

732
00:39:58,160 --> 00:40:00,260
Kraft just named a spread after her.

733
00:40:00,500 --> 00:40:02,780
I've got a real problem with the cash,
okay? Will you take a check?

734
00:40:03,000 --> 00:40:03,839
Good check?

735
00:40:03,840 --> 00:40:05,300
Yeah, check good, promise. Scouts on
her.

736
00:40:05,520 --> 00:40:06,520
Big check, $20?

737
00:40:06,740 --> 00:40:07,740
That's blackmail.

738
00:40:07,920 --> 00:40:09,080
No tip, no check?

739
00:40:09,320 --> 00:40:11,240
No, no, no. Okay, okay, okay, fine.

740
00:40:11,460 --> 00:40:13,180
I'm telling you, I don't care what you
heard.

741
00:40:13,380 --> 00:40:14,700
Toby didn't lay a hand on me.

742
00:40:15,140 --> 00:40:16,380
Let's just drop the matter.

743
00:40:16,600 --> 00:40:18,780
Where are you going? I'm not there
fighting with you!

744
00:40:19,060 --> 00:40:20,160
Oh, yes, you are.

745
00:40:20,760 --> 00:40:23,040
Oh, there you go again with that damn
dog philosophy.

746
00:40:23,280 --> 00:40:24,620
If you can't eat it, or...

747
00:40:32,710 --> 00:40:34,070
Alice, I'm going to have to call you
back.

748
00:40:34,590 --> 00:40:36,130
Something just came up.

749
00:40:43,950 --> 00:40:46,430
Oh, Ellen, darling, I love what you've
done to the closet.

750
00:40:49,210 --> 00:40:50,210
Jenny,

751
00:40:50,950 --> 00:40:51,868
I need a favor.

752
00:40:51,870 --> 00:40:55,410
I need a check for $117.50. When you say
favor, you mean favor.

753
00:40:55,790 --> 00:40:57,370
Look, I'll deduct it from the total
bill.

754
00:40:57,670 --> 00:41:00,810
Okay? Well, I guess so. I'll go get my
checkbook.

755
00:41:01,080 --> 00:41:02,180
Terrific. You're an angel. Thanks.

756
00:41:03,620 --> 00:41:05,300
Hey, isn't anyone going swimming?

757
00:41:05,540 --> 00:41:07,120
Well, I did bring my suit. It's in the
car.

758
00:41:07,500 --> 00:41:08,520
Me too. Shall we?

759
00:41:08,880 --> 00:41:10,240
Well, I can't say why not.

760
00:41:11,160 --> 00:41:13,320
So you were saying, you're thinking of
not running again?

761
00:41:13,760 --> 00:41:16,520
Well, actually, I haven't made up my
mind as of yet. Why, do you think I

762
00:41:16,520 --> 00:41:17,520
should? Oh, of course.

763
00:41:19,500 --> 00:41:21,880
Here we are. I make it out to Wong's
Takeout, right?

764
00:41:22,300 --> 00:41:23,320
Wrong. Oh, right.

765
00:41:23,780 --> 00:41:24,780
Wong's.

766
00:41:33,040 --> 00:41:35,700
Romantic, huh? What was the first thing
you did after skiing all day?

767
00:41:36,400 --> 00:41:38,340
Jonathan, you fancy man.

768
00:41:39,140 --> 00:41:42,200
Let me rephrase that. What was the
second thing you did after skiing all

769
00:41:42,200 --> 00:41:45,380
day? Oh, that's easy. I took off my
skis.

770
00:41:45,720 --> 00:41:46,558
Here you are.

771
00:41:46,560 --> 00:41:47,680
Right, and here you are.

772
00:41:47,920 --> 00:41:49,040
Call again, call again.

773
00:41:49,260 --> 00:41:50,218
I'd sooner die.

774
00:41:50,220 --> 00:41:51,340
You can go out the front.

775
00:41:51,580 --> 00:41:52,780
Call again, call again.

776
00:41:53,540 --> 00:41:55,320
Hey, by the way, thanks. You're a
lifesaver.

777
00:41:55,540 --> 00:41:56,960
I gotta go heat the noodles now, okay?

778
00:41:57,460 --> 00:41:59,120
Noodles? That was the best I could do.

779
00:42:02,830 --> 00:42:03,830
Where are you going, pretty one?

780
00:42:04,250 --> 00:42:05,250
To change.

781
00:42:10,130 --> 00:42:11,130
Are you coming?

782
00:42:30,270 --> 00:42:31,830
Well, what the hell? It's a free
country.

783
00:42:40,400 --> 00:42:41,379
in Scotch on the Rock.

784
00:42:41,380 --> 00:42:42,580
What did Daddy do?

785
00:42:42,800 --> 00:42:45,340
I got him a land drink with Toby.

786
00:42:46,040 --> 00:42:47,280
Toby? Toby?

787
00:42:49,740 --> 00:42:50,800
Where are all the noodles?

788
00:42:52,260 --> 00:42:54,160
Where the hell are all my noodles?

789
00:42:54,980 --> 00:42:56,600
Oh, they were delicious, man.

790
00:42:57,320 --> 00:42:58,340
I don't believe it.

791
00:42:58,760 --> 00:42:59,840
I don't believe it.

792
00:43:00,180 --> 00:43:02,380
You ate 97.50 worth of noodles?

793
00:43:03,620 --> 00:43:06,220
He ate 97.50 worth of my noodles.

794
00:43:06,520 --> 00:43:07,680
Oh, you're kidding!

795
00:43:12,940 --> 00:43:13,940
There's not even any juice.

796
00:43:15,020 --> 00:43:18,100
What kind of animal are you? How could
you do this to me? There are people

797
00:43:18,100 --> 00:43:19,100
starving in India.

798
00:43:19,340 --> 00:43:20,340
Yeah, me too.

799
00:43:22,800 --> 00:43:23,800
I'm sorry.

800
00:43:23,840 --> 00:43:24,840
You're sorry?

801
00:43:25,120 --> 00:43:26,120
You're sorry?

802
00:43:26,340 --> 00:43:29,320
You eat 97.50 worth of Mayan noodles and
you say you're sorry?

803
00:43:29,940 --> 00:43:31,860
Tell me, what kind of an animal are you?

804
00:43:32,400 --> 00:43:35,120
Oh, come on. There's no need to yell at
him. What are we going to do now?

805
00:43:35,440 --> 00:43:37,420
I don't know. We could order some more,
man.

806
00:43:38,520 --> 00:43:40,380
No, we can't order any more. They were
closing.

807
00:43:40,980 --> 00:43:41,980
Closing.

808
00:43:58,670 --> 00:44:00,150
It's 823-6623.

809
00:44:01,010 --> 00:44:02,010
Thanks a lot.

810
00:44:02,270 --> 00:44:05,850
This is KLAP Talk Radio, where the music
talks to you. Lou.

811
00:44:06,170 --> 00:44:07,750
Hello. You got clap.

812
00:44:07,990 --> 00:44:09,790
I know, I'm so ashamed. Cheer me up.

813
00:44:10,130 --> 00:44:11,270
You got it, little buddy.

814
00:44:13,490 --> 00:44:14,490
May I help you?

815
00:44:14,770 --> 00:44:18,630
I'm working my way through UCLA Medical
School, majoring in orthopedic surgery.

816
00:44:19,130 --> 00:44:21,190
Yes. Well, this is your birthday. Yes.

817
00:44:21,410 --> 00:44:25,400
My tuition is going up this semester,
and I have... to take on a part-time job

818
00:44:25,400 --> 00:44:27,560
to enable me to continue my education.

819
00:44:28,320 --> 00:44:31,440
Well, currently, I'm working for
Collistrip.

820
00:44:32,220 --> 00:44:33,260
Happy birthday.

821
00:44:34,980 --> 00:44:35,980
Is this Mama?

822
00:44:36,340 --> 00:44:38,760
Yeah, Mama, look, I'm in kind of a bind
here.

823
00:44:39,100 --> 00:44:41,180
Do you happen to have any potato salad?

824
00:44:42,360 --> 00:44:44,360
No, I didn't think so.

825
00:44:45,020 --> 00:44:48,020
Okay, look. How could you, Toby? My own
father.

826
00:44:48,260 --> 00:44:49,260
How could you?

827
00:44:49,420 --> 00:44:51,300
Hang on one second, Mama. Jenny, what's
wrong?

828
00:44:51,560 --> 00:44:52,560
What's wrong?

829
00:44:55,820 --> 00:44:58,280
No, no, no, not you, Mama. How much did
he pay you?

830
00:44:58,520 --> 00:45:00,700
Jenny, I don't know what you're talking
about. How much did who pay me? My

831
00:45:00,700 --> 00:45:01,780
father, that's who.

832
00:45:02,240 --> 00:45:03,640
Well, I don't know. I haven't figured
out a bill yet.

833
00:45:03,840 --> 00:45:06,720
Hey, just hang on one sec, all right?
You're submitting a bill?

834
00:45:07,080 --> 00:45:08,080
Well, I always do.

835
00:45:08,320 --> 00:45:10,740
Oh, you, you hairdresser.

836
00:45:11,440 --> 00:45:13,520
Hairdresser? Jenny, wait a second. Talk
to, talk.

837
00:45:14,700 --> 00:45:16,520
No, no, Mama. I don't want any tacos.

838
00:45:18,440 --> 00:45:21,000
Oh, come on now, Mr. Taylor. You gotta
mingle.

839
00:45:21,780 --> 00:45:22,780
Perhaps we should mingle.

840
00:45:23,290 --> 00:45:26,050
I'm not budging from this spot until the
food is ready.

841
00:45:26,530 --> 00:45:28,070
It's not that I'm antisocial.

842
00:45:28,430 --> 00:45:30,270
It's just that I'm too weak to move.

843
00:45:31,010 --> 00:45:34,330
Ellen, dear, are you checking on the
food? No, I'm checking on my husband.

844
00:45:34,590 --> 00:45:36,350
And I may castrate him.

845
00:45:36,590 --> 00:45:38,030
Not for hors d'oeuvres, I hope.

846
00:45:38,890 --> 00:45:42,130
Hey, have you seen Ginny? I really gotta
talk to her. Hey, you better. She thinks

847
00:45:42,130 --> 00:45:43,130
you seduced her old man.

848
00:45:43,390 --> 00:45:44,390
She thinks what?

849
00:45:44,610 --> 00:45:48,550
You mean she thinks... She thinks... She
thinks I'm gay?

850
00:45:49,030 --> 00:45:51,590
And what's wrong with that? Uh, nothing.

851
00:45:51,810 --> 00:45:52,810
Nothing. I mean...

852
00:45:53,130 --> 00:45:56,650
It just takes a different point of view.
I mean, you really have to know which

853
00:45:56,650 --> 00:45:57,650
end is up, right?

854
00:45:58,250 --> 00:46:00,090
Believe me, it takes more than that.

855
00:46:00,570 --> 00:46:01,990
But then you wouldn't understand.

856
00:46:02,670 --> 00:46:03,670
I wouldn't?

857
00:46:04,030 --> 00:46:06,150
I believe Dryden said it best.

858
00:46:06,410 --> 00:46:10,090
There is a pleasure in being mad which
none but madmen know.

859
00:46:10,630 --> 00:46:11,630
Yeah.

860
00:46:12,010 --> 00:46:13,010
Yeah.

861
00:46:14,230 --> 00:46:15,250
Who's Dryden?

862
00:46:15,660 --> 00:46:16,940
I know, it must be a press agent.

863
00:46:17,180 --> 00:46:19,920
Hey, can you watch the bar a sec? I'm
running low on sky. Hey, no, look, I

864
00:46:19,920 --> 00:46:22,740
gotta go find Jenny. Hey, she'll be here
in a sec. I'm just gonna be real quick,

865
00:46:22,840 --> 00:46:25,720
all right? No, but... Damn it. All
right.

866
00:46:26,880 --> 00:46:27,880
Hi.

867
00:46:32,720 --> 00:46:33,720
I want a divorce.

868
00:46:34,280 --> 00:46:36,240
Oh, Ellen, can't it wait till after the
party?

869
00:46:36,560 --> 00:46:37,560
I'm not kidding, Bill.

870
00:46:37,920 --> 00:46:38,920
I thought about it.

871
00:46:39,280 --> 00:46:41,240
If it was another woman, I'd understand.

872
00:46:41,580 --> 00:46:42,600
I could fight that.

873
00:46:43,200 --> 00:46:44,560
Ellen, it was another woman.

874
00:46:51,440 --> 00:46:53,560
Sometimes you don't mind being screwed
by the government.

875
00:46:57,640 --> 00:47:01,400
Oh, excuse me. I just came to get a
couple bottles of scotch.

876
00:47:02,300 --> 00:47:08,500
And then I explained to both of them
what we mean by stumping for votes.

877
00:47:08,780 --> 00:47:09,780
Your Honor, may I?

878
00:47:09,940 --> 00:47:13,680
Yes. He also showed me how to stuff
ballot boxes.

879
00:47:18,160 --> 00:47:20,600
They're right. Two heads are better than
one.

880
00:47:27,440 --> 00:47:30,320
We did get into a rather heavy political
discussion.

881
00:47:30,560 --> 00:47:32,040
Heavy? It was downright spiritual.

882
00:47:32,280 --> 00:47:35,240
Well, at one point, I even thought I
felt the van move.

883
00:47:35,680 --> 00:47:36,658
Thank you.

884
00:47:36,660 --> 00:47:39,540
Was that before or after the earthquake?

885
00:47:55,859 --> 00:47:59,260
I've been fascinated by orthopedics ever
since I was a little girl. I can dream

886
00:47:59,260 --> 00:48:00,300
about doing it.

887
00:48:00,800 --> 00:48:04,240
Top story this hour is an uprising in
the Tijuana Fruit Pickers Association to

888
00:48:04,240 --> 00:48:05,240
form a new union.

889
00:48:05,900 --> 00:48:07,520
What took you so long? Don't ask.

890
00:48:08,020 --> 00:48:09,860
Oh, Manazuma just delivered.

891
00:48:10,160 --> 00:48:12,200
All right, look, you come with me. Mr.
Beck here.

892
00:48:13,580 --> 00:48:14,740
You guys all ready on your drinks?

893
00:48:15,240 --> 00:48:16,740
Okay, here we are.

894
00:48:17,140 --> 00:48:18,140
How much do I owe you?

895
00:48:18,680 --> 00:48:22,040
$97.50. Oh, thank God, not you again.
What do you have, a monopoly on this?

896
00:48:22,260 --> 00:48:24,000
No monopoly, Chinese checkers.

897
00:48:24,670 --> 00:48:27,130
Never mind with that. Just tell me
what's worth the $97.50.

898
00:48:27,410 --> 00:48:28,410
It's Hollywood.

899
00:48:28,490 --> 00:48:29,550
But for a bunch of beans.

900
00:48:30,390 --> 00:48:35,090
Toby, Toby, Toby, refried beans. Were
they cheaper before you refried them?

901
00:48:35,250 --> 00:48:36,250
Si.

902
00:48:37,050 --> 00:48:37,908
Say what?

903
00:48:37,910 --> 00:48:39,250
I think he means yes.

904
00:48:40,310 --> 00:48:42,850
Oh, yeah, right. I forgot. He was
Mexican.

905
00:48:43,850 --> 00:48:44,850
I'm sorry about that, amigo.

906
00:48:45,210 --> 00:48:48,850
Me no go, you go. Get paid. Get paid,
get paid. I remember, I remember.

907
00:48:49,810 --> 00:48:51,650
If we pull this off, it's going to be a
miracle.

908
00:48:52,720 --> 00:48:54,940
I'll tell you, why don't you just hang
loose for a little while? We'll be right

909
00:48:54,940 --> 00:48:55,940
back, okay?

910
00:48:59,300 --> 00:49:00,300
Hang loose.

911
00:49:01,500 --> 00:49:04,540
Okay, you look in the living room. I'll
check out by the pool, okay? Gotcha.

912
00:49:04,760 --> 00:49:05,760
Oh, who are you?

913
00:49:06,640 --> 00:49:07,700
Mama Montezuma.

914
00:49:08,360 --> 00:49:10,300
Really? Well, I'm looking for Carrie,
the maid.

915
00:49:10,840 --> 00:49:13,060
Oh, see, see. She helped Toby pull it
off.

916
00:49:13,360 --> 00:49:14,360
She what?

917
00:49:14,400 --> 00:49:15,400
Get paid.

918
00:49:15,440 --> 00:49:16,440
What is that smell?

919
00:49:16,800 --> 00:49:19,980
Oh, God, I don't know. It must be the
food, although odor is the more proper

920
00:49:19,980 --> 00:49:22,410
word. It's so, it's so ethnic.

921
00:49:23,510 --> 00:49:27,490
Oh, it takes me back to that night in
Guadalajara when Gomez got pissed on

922
00:49:27,490 --> 00:49:29,750
Cuervo Gold and he bit the head off a
chicken.

923
00:49:30,050 --> 00:49:31,050
What happened?

924
00:49:31,070 --> 00:49:33,570
For years after that, he just pecked at
his food.

925
00:49:34,110 --> 00:49:36,510
Well, it is a part she could sink her
teeth into.

926
00:49:37,910 --> 00:49:41,710
And I suppose I did fashion the part
somewhat after her. Excuse me, Mr.

927
00:49:41,830 --> 00:49:43,230
Edwards. Can I speak to you a second?

928
00:49:43,570 --> 00:49:44,730
Oh, sure. Excuse us.

929
00:49:45,490 --> 00:49:46,870
What is it? What's all this?

930
00:49:47,990 --> 00:49:48,990
Refried beans.

931
00:49:51,600 --> 00:49:52,780
I order noodles, order beans.

932
00:49:53,100 --> 00:49:54,220
Well, we had a little problem.

933
00:49:54,580 --> 00:49:57,620
Do you think you could see a way clear
to advancing us $97.50 for our services?

934
00:49:58,220 --> 00:49:59,760
I don't see why not. What's the trouble?

935
00:50:00,020 --> 00:50:01,020
Well, these aren't even hot.

936
00:50:01,440 --> 00:50:02,440
Not hot?

937
00:50:03,280 --> 00:50:06,420
You have to have hot, refried beans.

938
00:50:06,720 --> 00:50:09,160
Look, the food will be out as soon as I
get the money, okay?

939
00:50:09,720 --> 00:50:11,480
Go get my checkbook. It's in the bedroom
desk.

940
00:50:11,720 --> 00:50:12,720
Great, thanks.

941
00:50:12,880 --> 00:50:14,940
Bill, are you trying to starve us to
death?

942
00:50:15,320 --> 00:50:16,320
Where's the food?

943
00:50:16,500 --> 00:50:17,580
The food will be out shortly.

944
00:50:18,260 --> 00:50:19,760
Good, I haven't had any breakfast.

945
00:50:20,640 --> 00:50:21,519
Want hot beans?

946
00:50:21,520 --> 00:50:22,520
Got hot beans.

947
00:50:23,260 --> 00:50:25,180
Ay, ay, ay, ay.

948
00:50:26,740 --> 00:50:28,840
Ay, ay, ay, ay, ay.

949
00:50:31,400 --> 00:50:33,560
Oops. Can you help me? What is it?

950
00:50:33,880 --> 00:50:37,360
Um, well, you see, I just took a nap.
And, oh, do you know what a pacemaker

951
00:50:37,360 --> 00:50:40,940
is? Yeah. It has something to do with
the heart. I think it keeps it beating.

952
00:50:41,080 --> 00:50:43,500
Oh, no. He got his on sale then. Who
did?

953
00:50:44,700 --> 00:50:47,440
Him. Boy, is Alice going to be mad.

954
00:50:48,340 --> 00:50:49,800
Is he, uh, is he dead?

955
00:50:50,280 --> 00:50:52,100
Either that, or he's a Republican.

956
00:50:54,740 --> 00:51:01,300
Oh, my God, it's the governor.

957
00:51:01,860 --> 00:51:04,080
You know, I think he is a Republican.

958
00:51:04,920 --> 00:51:06,960
Oh, my God, it's the governor, and he's
dead.

959
00:51:07,520 --> 00:51:09,320
Doornail city, comprendez-vous?

960
00:51:09,760 --> 00:51:13,700
It's the governor, and he's dead, and
you're naked.

961
00:51:14,040 --> 00:51:15,040
I know.

962
00:51:15,220 --> 00:51:16,260
Oh, my God, let me think.

963
00:51:16,720 --> 00:51:18,100
What are we going to do? All right.

964
00:51:18,800 --> 00:51:19,820
First of all, get dressed.

965
00:51:20,140 --> 00:51:22,500
Don't you have any respect for the dead?
I don't have any clothes.

966
00:51:22,960 --> 00:51:24,160
You came to the party naked?

967
00:51:24,880 --> 00:51:25,880
No, silly.

968
00:51:25,980 --> 00:51:30,260
They're across the hall, under the bed.
All right, look. I'll go across and get

969
00:51:30,260 --> 00:51:31,320
them. You wait here.

970
00:51:33,400 --> 00:51:34,820
Oh, my God. What am I going to do to the
governor?

971
00:51:35,560 --> 00:51:37,240
Just a minute. Get back in there.

972
00:51:38,600 --> 00:51:39,820
What am I going to do to the governor?

973
00:51:40,220 --> 00:51:41,380
I don't tell her.

974
00:51:41,740 --> 00:51:44,020
Do I tell her? No, I don't tell her.
Tell Mr. Edwards.

975
00:51:44,260 --> 00:51:45,380
That's it. I'm telling Mr. Edwards.

976
00:51:45,660 --> 00:51:46,660
Come in.

977
00:51:47,980 --> 00:51:49,260
Excuse me, Mrs. Edwards.

978
00:51:50,040 --> 00:51:51,800
Toby, what is it? Close the door.

979
00:51:52,020 --> 00:51:54,880
Yeah, um, Mr. Edwards needs his
checkbook. I think he said it was in the

980
00:51:54,880 --> 00:51:55,880
desk. Oh.

981
00:51:56,680 --> 00:51:59,260
And, uh, do you also happen to have a
swimsuit?

982
00:51:59,720 --> 00:52:00,980
One of your guests wants to go swimming.

983
00:52:01,340 --> 00:52:02,340
What else, right?

984
00:52:02,640 --> 00:52:03,640
Right, no problem.

985
00:52:03,880 --> 00:52:08,200
Right. You know, Toby, I'm afraid I owe
you an apology for the way I behaved

986
00:52:08,200 --> 00:52:10,300
earlier. I'm just afraid I got the
worst.

987
00:52:10,600 --> 00:52:12,020
But Bill's explained everything.

988
00:52:12,640 --> 00:52:15,560
Well, you know, I hope he can explain it
to me, because I don't understand this.

989
00:52:15,620 --> 00:52:16,640
Now Jenny's mad at me, too.

990
00:52:18,299 --> 00:52:21,040
Miss Jenny, she won't understand this,
and you will be able to explain it to

991
00:52:21,040 --> 00:52:22,980
her. No, no, no, not understand.

992
00:52:23,320 --> 00:52:26,380
Come in, Jenny.

993
00:52:28,360 --> 00:52:29,800
People are beginning to complain.

994
00:52:30,120 --> 00:52:31,580
We've got to get the food out.

995
00:52:31,820 --> 00:52:35,420
Evelyn just ate an entire jar of olives
off the bar, and now she's sucking

996
00:52:35,420 --> 00:52:38,500
lemons. I'll be right down. I don't know
where Toby and Carrie ran off to.

997
00:52:38,740 --> 00:52:39,740
Oh, my earrings.

998
00:52:40,120 --> 00:52:43,720
Bless me, Father Fry, I've sinned.
Jenny, I can explain.

999
00:52:44,000 --> 00:52:46,240
Oh, Mother, not you too.

1000
00:52:48,490 --> 00:52:49,490
Wait a second. Wait. I can explain.

1001
00:52:49,750 --> 00:52:50,448
Wait a minute.

1002
00:52:50,450 --> 00:52:51,450
Jenny, wait. Wait.

1003
00:52:52,050 --> 00:52:53,050
Oh.

1004
00:52:53,710 --> 00:52:54,710
Jenny, wait.

1005
00:52:54,790 --> 00:52:55,790
Jenny.

1006
00:52:56,070 --> 00:52:57,070
It's Patty.

1007
00:52:57,990 --> 00:52:59,430
Here, look. Put this on. You're going
swimming.

1008
00:52:59,690 --> 00:53:00,690
Wait.

1009
00:53:00,870 --> 00:53:02,050
Wait. What about him?

1010
00:53:03,390 --> 00:53:04,530
No, he's beyond swimming.

1011
00:53:04,750 --> 00:53:06,030
All right. I'm going to tell Mr.
Edwards.

1012
00:53:06,250 --> 00:53:08,010
It's his house. He'll have to deal with
it.

1013
00:53:08,510 --> 00:53:10,110
You stay here and don't let anyone in.

1014
00:53:10,390 --> 00:53:11,910
I thought I was going swimming.

1015
00:53:12,250 --> 00:53:13,169
No, not now.

1016
00:53:13,170 --> 00:53:15,730
Well, it was all very confusing, Your
Honor.

1017
00:53:16,270 --> 00:53:21,170
You see, people are always trying to
confuse me. Why, just last week, you

1018
00:53:21,170 --> 00:53:26,870
know, Jaime, that's my agent. Well, he
said, do I want to go down on the beach?

1019
00:53:27,050 --> 00:53:32,850
And, well, we were already on the beach.
And it was all very confusing. Do you

1020
00:53:32,850 --> 00:53:33,850
see what I mean?

1021
00:53:33,890 --> 00:53:35,410
You poor thing.

1022
00:53:36,090 --> 00:53:37,370
What happened next?

1023
00:53:37,810 --> 00:53:41,470
Well, Toby went to find Bill.

1024
00:53:43,430 --> 00:53:44,430
Excuse me.

1025
00:53:45,630 --> 00:53:46,630
You got a pen, Jonathan?

1026
00:53:46,870 --> 00:53:47,870
Yeah.

1027
00:53:48,250 --> 00:53:49,250
Hey, always prepared.

1028
00:53:50,450 --> 00:53:51,450
97.50, right?

1029
00:53:51,690 --> 00:53:52,690
Yeah, right.

1030
00:53:53,910 --> 00:53:57,990
Look, do you think I could talk to you
privately for a second?

1031
00:53:58,210 --> 00:53:59,210
Sure.

1032
00:53:59,390 --> 00:54:00,249
Excuse me.

1033
00:54:00,250 --> 00:54:01,250
What's up?

1034
00:54:01,430 --> 00:54:02,650
Well, nothing that should be.

1035
00:54:03,310 --> 00:54:07,090
What? Well, there's a girl upstairs with
the governor.

1036
00:54:07,330 --> 00:54:08,330
So?

1037
00:54:08,550 --> 00:54:09,550
With the governor.

1038
00:54:10,070 --> 00:54:11,070
Oh.

1039
00:54:16,330 --> 00:54:17,670
You take the check and get the food out.

1040
00:54:18,290 --> 00:54:21,290
I'll, uh, I'll talk to the governor.
Well, wait, you don't understand.

1041
00:54:23,770 --> 00:54:24,770
Better talk loud.

1042
00:54:28,230 --> 00:54:30,350
Oh, thank you for listening, Father.

1043
00:54:30,650 --> 00:54:31,650
Anytime, Ellen.

1044
00:54:31,690 --> 00:54:35,650
Now, remember, if you don't work at
marriage, marriage won't work. Right.

1045
00:54:36,110 --> 00:54:37,110
Thank you.

1046
00:54:40,830 --> 00:54:43,350
Yes? Yes, what is it? Can you do the
last right?

1047
00:54:43,740 --> 00:54:44,940
Well, of course I can.

1048
00:54:45,180 --> 00:54:46,620
Oh, well, you'd better do them.

1049
00:54:50,520 --> 00:54:53,880
Father, they're just about ready to
serve. There's a girl in there. Uh,

1050
00:54:54,240 --> 00:54:56,020
let's not mention that right now.

1051
00:54:58,460 --> 00:54:59,460
Who is it?

1052
00:54:59,760 --> 00:55:00,760
It's Bill.

1053
00:55:01,100 --> 00:55:02,160
Is the governor in there?

1054
00:55:03,730 --> 00:55:06,830
Now, Patty, I know what you're doing in
there, and I think it can be very risky

1055
00:55:06,830 --> 00:55:09,770
for the governor. There are lots of
colonists downstairs who would love a

1056
00:55:09,770 --> 00:55:12,830
juicy piece of gossip like this. Your
picture would be on the front page of

1057
00:55:12,830 --> 00:55:13,830
every paper in town.

1058
00:55:13,950 --> 00:55:15,010
Oh, fabulous!

1059
00:55:16,330 --> 00:55:19,070
Now, Patty, think what this will do to
the governor's re-election.

1060
00:55:19,390 --> 00:55:21,430
Oh, I don't think he's going to be
running.

1061
00:55:21,830 --> 00:55:22,990
Will you let me talk to him?

1062
00:55:23,510 --> 00:55:24,850
Sure. Go ahead.

1063
00:55:25,450 --> 00:55:28,190
Hello, sports beat. What's your sport?
Football.

1064
00:55:28,610 --> 00:55:29,610
What's on your mind?

1065
00:55:29,950 --> 00:55:30,950
Tight end.

1066
00:55:31,870 --> 00:55:32,970
Okay, look, here's your money.

1067
00:55:33,890 --> 00:55:35,150
Call again. Call again.

1068
00:55:35,630 --> 00:55:36,950
This is like a bad dream.

1069
00:55:38,270 --> 00:55:39,910
Yeah, it was nice to have met you. Real
nice.

1070
00:55:40,170 --> 00:55:41,170
No tip?

1071
00:55:41,490 --> 00:55:46,470
Um, look, I'll tell you. I'm a little
short today, okay? A little short?

1072
00:55:46,750 --> 00:55:47,790
A little shit.

1073
00:55:48,190 --> 00:55:49,190
I'll go out front.

1074
00:55:49,650 --> 00:55:51,330
Patty, you've got to let me in there.

1075
00:55:51,530 --> 00:55:54,710
I can't. Patty, this is a matter of life
and death.

1076
00:55:55,050 --> 00:55:56,050
You're half right.

1077
00:55:56,750 --> 00:55:57,750
What's going on?

1078
00:55:58,290 --> 00:56:01,050
The governor's in there with a girl. I
can't get him out. The governor?

1079
00:56:01,390 --> 00:56:02,730
I didn't even know he was here.

1080
00:56:03,260 --> 00:56:06,220
I asked him to drop by. I thought maybe
he and Grant could settle their

1081
00:56:06,220 --> 00:56:10,060
differences. But it turns out Grant was
right. The governor does cheat on his

1082
00:56:10,060 --> 00:56:11,300
wife. Doesn't everyone?

1083
00:56:12,240 --> 00:56:13,240
That's not the point.

1084
00:56:13,600 --> 00:56:16,920
If Polly or Jonathan find out about
this, they'll know Grant's book isn't

1085
00:56:16,920 --> 00:56:20,340
fictional. We'll be in lawsuits up to
our ass. They may even try to stop the

1086
00:56:20,340 --> 00:56:21,940
picture. Well, what are we going to do?

1087
00:56:22,560 --> 00:56:24,100
We've got to try to get through that
door.

1088
00:56:38,320 --> 00:56:40,560
Wouldn't you like a part in picnic
lunch, hmm?

1089
00:56:41,440 --> 00:56:43,760
Well, yes, but I don't know.

1090
00:56:44,080 --> 00:56:46,320
I've never played plumber before.

1091
00:56:47,300 --> 00:56:48,300
It's easy.

1092
00:56:48,400 --> 00:56:52,800
You see, you're the housewife, and I've
come to check out your pipes.

1093
00:56:58,420 --> 00:56:59,560
What'll it be, margarita?

1094
00:57:00,020 --> 00:57:02,080
Don't call me that. Johnny Walker.

1095
00:57:02,900 --> 00:57:04,340
Our caller wants to know...

1096
00:57:04,600 --> 00:57:08,360
Who set the world's record for the most
times at bat? Since it's not you.

1097
00:57:08,680 --> 00:57:10,980
Lucky for me, I'm sitting bone.

1098
00:57:15,320 --> 00:57:16,600
The hell was that?

1099
00:57:17,400 --> 00:57:19,240
Just my stomach growling.

1100
00:57:23,240 --> 00:57:24,900
What are we going to do?

1101
00:57:25,220 --> 00:57:26,460
We've got to get him out of here.

1102
00:57:26,720 --> 00:57:27,800
Who knows about this?

1103
00:57:28,100 --> 00:57:32,820
Well, there's me, there's the two of
you, there's the waiter, and...

1104
00:57:34,280 --> 00:57:35,340
Well, the governor isn't talking.

1105
00:57:36,100 --> 00:57:37,440
It's because he's dead.

1106
00:57:41,280 --> 00:57:42,280
Okay, I'm off.

1107
00:57:42,420 --> 00:57:43,420
You got it.

1108
00:58:31,630 --> 00:58:32,630
for all.

1109
00:58:33,610 --> 00:58:37,890
At a proper angle, and the right path,
and splat!

1110
00:58:38,290 --> 00:58:39,570
Goodbye, party.

1111
00:58:40,850 --> 00:58:41,850
How's it coming?

1112
00:58:42,210 --> 00:58:43,290
Oh, it's going.

1113
00:58:43,730 --> 00:58:44,730
It's going.

1114
00:58:44,770 --> 00:58:47,650
Oh, well, you better be careful, dear.
You don't want it to roll down that

1115
00:58:47,650 --> 00:58:52,530
hill. No, no, I know exactly where it's
going. You just leave everything to me.

1116
00:58:53,870 --> 00:58:55,630
Not even in my will.

1117
00:58:57,430 --> 00:58:58,710
What the hell is that?

1118
00:58:59,250 --> 00:59:00,350
They're refried beans.

1119
00:59:01,200 --> 00:59:02,940
Well, it looks like shit.

1120
00:59:03,240 --> 00:59:05,800
First, we polish your fixture.

1121
00:59:16,700 --> 00:59:18,560
Hey, man, save some room for dessert.

1122
00:59:19,800 --> 00:59:21,440
Is she really going to eat all that?

1123
00:59:22,140 --> 00:59:26,080
Let me put it this way, dear. I always
have her over whenever there's a garbage

1124
00:59:26,080 --> 00:59:27,080
truck.

1125
00:59:39,280 --> 00:59:40,280
Can I talk to you?

1126
00:59:40,420 --> 00:59:41,520
I can't stop you.

1127
00:59:41,940 --> 00:59:44,400
I just want you to know that whatever
you think about... What makes you think

1128
00:59:44,400 --> 00:59:45,620
that I think about you at all?

1129
00:59:48,360 --> 00:59:49,740
I'm sorry, I thought you did.

1130
00:59:50,380 --> 00:59:51,380
Well, think again.

1131
00:59:51,480 --> 00:59:53,440
Now I suggest you go back to your place.

1132
00:59:54,200 --> 00:59:55,200
Oh, I see.

1133
00:59:55,320 --> 00:59:56,420
Back to my place.

1134
00:59:56,780 --> 00:59:58,020
Well, excuse me!

1135
01:01:06,890 --> 01:01:09,470
Don't worry. I know what to do. I taught
this in camp.

1136
01:01:09,890 --> 01:01:12,250
You think you should take our choppers
out?

1137
01:01:13,570 --> 01:01:14,570
Not now.

1138
01:01:15,770 --> 01:01:18,110
What are you trying to do? Kill me like
a dog.

1139
01:01:19,490 --> 01:01:20,490
Funny dad.

1140
01:01:22,990 --> 01:01:26,010
Why are you trying to kill me, you son
of a bitch? Leave me alone.

1141
01:01:26,710 --> 01:01:29,610
Let's get in the shower. I'll show you
what the Roto-Rooter man can do.

1142
01:01:39,400 --> 01:01:40,400
Mind if I join you, lady?

1143
01:01:40,460 --> 01:01:42,360
Certainly. The food looks divine.

1144
01:01:42,920 --> 01:01:43,960
Well, you ought to know.

1145
01:01:49,160 --> 01:01:52,780
Come on, darling.

1146
01:01:55,600 --> 01:01:56,600
You all right?

1147
01:02:00,860 --> 01:02:02,580
I hope so. I haven't been paid yet.

1148
01:02:03,520 --> 01:02:04,520
Thank you.

1149
01:02:36,400 --> 01:02:37,400
What's the matter, sugar?

1150
01:03:29,130 --> 01:03:32,790
I'll get Toby to give me a hand. You two
just stay here as if nothing happened.

1151
01:03:32,930 --> 01:03:33,930
Act natural.

1152
01:03:34,670 --> 01:03:36,030
I am natural.

1153
01:03:37,690 --> 01:03:42,020
Do you think we should call Alan? Over
my dead body? No, over hers.

1154
01:03:42,400 --> 01:03:43,299
Shh.

1155
01:03:43,300 --> 01:03:45,180
Everyone here has the food.

1156
01:03:45,940 --> 01:03:47,040
Not enough salt.

1157
01:04:14,550 --> 01:04:19,110
A trick towel is the towel your son
refers to after sex.

1158
01:04:19,330 --> 01:04:22,190
It has nothing to do with Halloween or
showers.

1159
01:04:25,910 --> 01:04:28,510
And away go troubles down the...

1160
01:04:42,160 --> 01:04:43,160
Get that kid out of here.

1161
01:04:45,440 --> 01:04:46,440
Take these downstairs.

1162
01:04:48,140 --> 01:04:50,120
Oh, very funny, very funny.

1163
01:04:57,380 --> 01:04:59,040
Well, hello there.

1164
01:04:59,520 --> 01:05:01,540
Where have you been hiding all day?

1165
01:05:03,880 --> 01:05:06,120
You deliberately put something in those
beans.

1166
01:05:06,420 --> 01:05:08,340
Jenny, wait. Why would I do that? To get
attention.

1167
01:05:08,960 --> 01:05:11,780
Bernie told me that you wanted to be
noticed today, that you want a part of

1168
01:05:11,780 --> 01:05:12,780
my father's picture.

1169
01:05:12,840 --> 01:05:14,320
Here, Jen, pass these out.

1170
01:05:16,300 --> 01:05:19,240
This is your idea of a joke.

1171
01:05:19,560 --> 01:05:22,360
I assure you, Polly, I don't know what
could have happened.

1172
01:05:22,640 --> 01:05:24,180
Toby, I need your help.

1173
01:05:24,960 --> 01:05:28,240
We've got to get you-know-who out of
here.

1174
01:05:28,720 --> 01:05:34,540
Yeah, but we can't just carry him out. I
know, but... Wait a minute.

1175
01:05:35,520 --> 01:05:36,520
Come with me.

1176
01:05:43,690 --> 01:05:45,270
feather in that old hat.

1177
01:05:45,590 --> 01:05:49,350
But then you and Eleanor Roosevelt
always were trendsetters.

1178
01:05:51,790 --> 01:05:53,610
Shit! Who's in there?

1179
01:05:53,910 --> 01:05:54,910
Go away!

1180
01:05:55,110 --> 01:05:56,110
Evelyn.

1181
01:05:56,390 --> 01:05:58,090
Evelyn, let me in there.

1182
01:05:58,330 --> 01:05:59,330
No!

1183
01:05:59,510 --> 01:06:00,510
Evelyn, look.

1184
01:06:00,530 --> 01:06:03,510
If you don't open this door right now,
you get no dessert.

1185
01:06:06,070 --> 01:06:07,390
Who's that pretty broad?

1186
01:06:08,290 --> 01:06:13,030
Hey, isn't that Barb's over there? Grand
darling, the beans are a must.

1187
01:06:19,560 --> 01:06:23,220
I've got to talk to you. Shouldn't your
caterer be doing this? He's helping your

1188
01:06:23,220 --> 01:06:25,160
father. I can well imagine.

1189
01:06:25,740 --> 01:06:28,260
Jennifer, you're behaving like a spoiled
little brat.

1190
01:06:28,540 --> 01:06:30,200
Now, I can explain everything that
happened.

1191
01:06:30,420 --> 01:06:33,700
When Toby was under your bed... Oh, I
didn't hear that. No, ma'am.

1192
01:06:34,320 --> 01:06:36,060
He was under there hiding from you.

1193
01:06:36,580 --> 01:06:41,000
From me? Yes. He thought you'd
misunderstand his being in my bedroom. I

1194
01:06:41,000 --> 01:06:42,500
can assure you it was all quite
innocent.

1195
01:06:43,100 --> 01:06:44,100
Sounds good to me.

1196
01:06:44,680 --> 01:06:46,140
Well, who the hell is she?

1197
01:06:46,340 --> 01:06:48,380
You don't know? No. You don't know
Simone?

1198
01:06:48,920 --> 01:06:51,960
Who? Simone Caron. She's real big in
France.

1199
01:06:52,420 --> 01:06:54,380
She looks pretty big in here, too.

1200
01:06:55,400 --> 01:06:58,600
Seems like everybody wants a part in
picnic lunch. Right, Mr. Edwards?

1201
01:06:59,260 --> 01:07:00,260
Right, right.

1202
01:07:01,060 --> 01:07:05,040
Simone just flew in this morning. Looks
like that jet lag finally caught up with

1203
01:07:05,040 --> 01:07:07,240
her. Looks like it passed her.

1204
01:07:07,660 --> 01:07:10,420
Evelyn, listen, they're getting ready to
serve dessert downstairs.

1205
01:07:10,760 --> 01:07:12,920
Why don't you go down there? It's one of
your favorites.

1206
01:07:13,140 --> 01:07:15,060
Alice B. Toklas banana cream pie.

1207
01:07:15,760 --> 01:07:16,760
All right.

1208
01:07:17,580 --> 01:07:19,960
But you make sure you bring Simone down
later.

1209
01:07:20,200 --> 01:07:22,260
I want to get to know her better.

1210
01:07:22,880 --> 01:07:24,740
You've seen one, you've seen them all.

1211
01:07:25,000 --> 01:07:26,000
Mineral white.

1212
01:07:26,300 --> 01:07:27,300
Mineral olive.

1213
01:07:29,420 --> 01:07:30,420
Disgusting.

1214
01:07:32,240 --> 01:07:36,940
I invited Father Williams in to talk.
Well, to confess, actually. And while I

1215
01:07:36,940 --> 01:07:38,320
was changing, Toby knocked.

1216
01:07:38,660 --> 01:07:40,500
Well, it would have seemed strange.

1217
01:07:40,840 --> 01:07:42,340
So Father Williams hid.

1218
01:07:42,660 --> 01:07:43,720
Sounds good to me.

1219
01:07:44,020 --> 01:07:46,480
And I suppose Toby had nothing to do
with you either.

1220
01:07:48,050 --> 01:07:49,890
idea. I'm confused.

1221
01:07:50,410 --> 01:07:51,530
What about dad?

1222
01:07:51,790 --> 01:07:53,770
You told me. I was mistaken.

1223
01:07:54,030 --> 01:07:58,530
In truth, your father was with another
woman.

1224
01:07:59,270 --> 01:08:02,150
No. He started this whole mess.

1225
01:08:02,630 --> 01:08:06,710
Well, he didn't start the trouble with
the beans. That is definitely Toby's

1226
01:08:06,710 --> 01:08:09,650
territory. They sure were hot for cold
beans.

1227
01:08:10,330 --> 01:08:13,450
Cold? I told the Chinese boy to have
them heated.

1228
01:08:13,790 --> 01:08:14,790
You did what?

1229
01:08:17,770 --> 01:08:18,770
The beans should be hot.

1230
01:08:20,090 --> 01:08:21,090
Oh, my God.

1231
01:08:21,850 --> 01:08:23,290
Welcome to Toby territory.

1232
01:08:26,569 --> 01:08:27,890
Come on. Let's just clear it. Bring it.

1233
01:08:28,330 --> 01:08:30,590
Good. Now, just get him to your van. My
van?

1234
01:08:31,170 --> 01:08:33,270
Look, kid, I'll make it worth your
while. You want a part, right?

1235
01:08:33,649 --> 01:08:34,770
Right, but what do I do with him?

1236
01:08:36,069 --> 01:08:37,149
Dump him at Hollywood and Vine.

1237
01:08:37,430 --> 01:08:38,430
No one will notice for days.

1238
01:08:38,770 --> 01:08:40,569
Just dump him there? Toby, he's dead.

1239
01:08:41,029 --> 01:08:43,689
Scandal can't touch him now. They could
sure as hell screw up my plans.

1240
01:08:44,130 --> 01:08:45,270
I'll have another bullshit.

1241
01:08:45,930 --> 01:08:46,930
Shot.

1242
01:08:47,630 --> 01:08:48,630
I am not.

1243
01:08:56,550 --> 01:09:00,250
There she is. Hey, Simone. Glad to see
you up and about.

1244
01:09:01,250 --> 01:09:02,529
That's Simone Caron.

1245
01:09:02,750 --> 01:09:03,950
I want to buy her a drink.

1246
01:09:04,430 --> 01:09:06,510
Hey, come on, honey. I want to buy you a
drink.

1247
01:09:07,270 --> 01:09:09,790
Really, Evelyn. I think she just needs a
little air. Yeah.

1248
01:09:16,970 --> 01:09:18,290
Oh, thanks. I'd rather stand.

1249
01:09:18,529 --> 01:09:20,630
I wasn't talking to you, bimbo.

1250
01:09:21,390 --> 01:09:25,210
Evelyn, I think she's fine right here.
Those stools are so uncomfortable.

1251
01:09:25,630 --> 01:09:29,990
See? Well, I still want to buy her a
drink.

1252
01:09:30,450 --> 01:09:31,750
What'll you have, honey?

1253
01:09:32,310 --> 01:09:33,950
Oh, a wee-wee.

1254
01:09:34,649 --> 01:09:38,830
Hey, that was good. I didn't even see
your lips move.

1255
01:09:43,729 --> 01:09:46,210
There. The plank's in place.

1256
01:10:00,590 --> 01:10:02,470
I got to look out on the terrace. Carmen
Miranda, nude.

1257
01:10:04,490 --> 01:10:07,870
Wait a minute. Carmen Miranda is dead.

1258
01:10:08,410 --> 01:10:09,530
Yeah, she looks awful.

1259
01:10:09,850 --> 01:10:12,150
Hey, are we going skinny dipping?

1260
01:10:12,570 --> 01:10:13,650
We'll join you.

1261
01:10:14,410 --> 01:10:15,510
Come on, Simone.

1262
01:10:17,010 --> 01:10:18,010
Evan.

1263
01:10:18,370 --> 01:10:21,750
Evan, I don't think Simone is up to
swimming. She can't swim.

1264
01:10:32,650 --> 01:10:35,270
Aren't you going in, Polly? We'll all
close our eyes.

1265
01:10:35,770 --> 01:10:37,990
I wish you would close your eyes,
darling.

1266
01:10:38,430 --> 01:10:39,430
Permanently.

1267
01:10:41,210 --> 01:10:44,590
Are you enjoying the food? I hear the
beans are simply delicious.

1268
01:10:44,950 --> 01:10:45,950
Are they?

1269
01:10:47,610 --> 01:10:49,330
Oh, God.

1270
01:10:53,190 --> 01:10:55,150
Oh, God, not another earthquake.

1271
01:10:56,210 --> 01:10:57,210
Oh,

1272
01:10:58,270 --> 01:10:59,630
don't worry, Simone.

1273
01:11:06,410 --> 01:11:07,570
drink and she's passed out already.

1274
01:11:07,810 --> 01:11:09,270
The party's over.

1275
01:11:10,450 --> 01:11:12,990
It's time to call it a day.

1276
01:11:14,410 --> 01:11:21,310
I have a weather

1277
01:11:21,310 --> 01:11:23,110
bulletin just handed me by Uncle Willie.

1278
01:11:23,890 --> 01:11:25,050
Thank you, Uncle Willie.

1279
01:11:25,330 --> 01:11:29,030
Don't mention it. The Mount St. Helens
eruption is in full force, causing

1280
01:11:29,030 --> 01:11:31,370
tremors to be felt as far south as San
Francisco.

1281
01:11:31,630 --> 01:11:32,730
Oh, I guess it's nothing serious.

1282
01:11:33,870 --> 01:11:35,250
Kind of like one of Polly's columns.

1283
01:12:35,080 --> 01:12:36,080
see crazy.

1284
01:13:16,650 --> 01:13:20,250
ballroom to bring you a weather bulletin
a minor earth tremor has just struck the

1285
01:13:20,250 --> 01:13:24,430
downtown los angeles area workers at the
laurel canyon dam have now reported that

1286
01:13:24,430 --> 01:13:29,270
several cracks have been spotted leading
to speculation of possible evacuation no

1287
01:13:29,270 --> 01:13:32,730
word on this from the governor damage in
the downtown los angeles area now stands

1288
01:13:32,730 --> 01:13:37,010
at an estimated three million dollars
but most importantly none i repeat none

1289
01:13:37,010 --> 01:13:39,110
of the major studios have sustained any
damage

1290
01:13:47,630 --> 01:13:48,950
Oh, one more thing.

1291
01:13:49,310 --> 01:13:52,870
People in outlying communities should
seek higher ground. Now, back to music.

1292
01:14:26,760 --> 01:14:28,200
This will make headlines!

1293
01:15:32,940 --> 01:15:34,700
you don't light up my life.

1294
01:15:43,480 --> 01:15:44,480
Ruined.

1295
01:15:45,840 --> 01:15:47,080
Totally ruined.

1296
01:15:48,960 --> 01:15:50,120
Aren't we all?

1297
01:15:52,500 --> 01:15:53,640
All right.

1298
01:15:55,240 --> 01:15:56,860
Who wants to fuck?

1299
01:15:58,040 --> 01:16:00,460
It would seem to have been some party.

1300
01:16:01,900 --> 01:16:03,480
Does anyone have anything to add?

1301
01:16:04,080 --> 01:16:05,080
Order,

1302
01:16:08,820 --> 01:16:11,600
order, order, or I'll hold you all in
contempt.

1303
01:16:12,120 --> 01:16:13,120
Of what?

1304
01:16:13,440 --> 01:16:14,440
Of my chambers.

1305
01:16:15,220 --> 01:16:17,560
Go to hell. I heard that.

1306
01:16:17,840 --> 01:16:21,540
That'll cost you $100 a word, $300.

1307
01:16:22,800 --> 01:16:24,600
I should have said, fuck you.

1308
01:16:25,060 --> 01:16:28,620
I think a knife and a slammer would do
all of you good. It would teach you

1309
01:16:28,620 --> 01:16:30,340
respect for the judicial system.

1310
01:16:30,640 --> 01:16:32,280
I've never done it. Right in general.

1311
01:17:01,640 --> 01:17:03,140
All concerned with themselves, it would
seem.

1312
01:17:03,600 --> 01:17:05,940
And I admit, I almost went along for the
ride.

1313
01:17:06,440 --> 01:17:08,460
I was just beginning to think, what's in
it for me?

1314
01:17:08,900 --> 01:17:10,320
Just like everybody else.

1315
01:17:10,940 --> 01:17:12,020
And then I figured it out.

1316
01:17:13,160 --> 01:17:14,160
What's in it for me?

1317
01:17:14,300 --> 01:17:15,660
Not a goddamn thing.

1318
01:17:15,880 --> 01:17:17,220
Not even any self-respect.

1319
01:17:18,980 --> 01:17:19,980
So I've learned.

1320
01:17:20,120 --> 01:17:23,980
I learned a very important lesson from
some unimportant teachers.

1321
01:17:24,760 --> 01:17:27,880
The only thing worth living is life
itself.

1322
01:17:28,950 --> 01:17:31,650
That's the line from your book. The
whole speech was.

1323
01:17:32,410 --> 01:17:33,410
End of audition.

1324
01:17:33,890 --> 01:17:34,890
Well,

1325
01:17:35,370 --> 01:17:42,150
how'd I do? Time will

1326
01:17:42,150 --> 01:17:43,150
tell.

1327
01:18:17,610 --> 01:18:20,450
I just came by to drop off the bill for
the party. My folks aren't home right

1328
01:18:20,450 --> 01:18:23,230
now. Oh, that's okay. You can just have
them mail me the check.

1329
01:18:23,630 --> 01:18:24,790
I really came by to see you.

1330
01:18:25,350 --> 01:18:26,350
Your dad?

1331
01:18:26,390 --> 01:18:30,070
Yeah. Um, I just wanted to know if there
was any word on the audition.

1332
01:18:30,770 --> 01:18:34,230
I guess it looked pretty silly, huh? I
didn't think so. And Dad was very

1333
01:18:34,230 --> 01:18:35,230
impressed with you.

1334
01:18:35,270 --> 01:18:35,869
He was?

1335
01:18:35,870 --> 01:18:39,230
Yeah, Grant, too. With all the
publicity, they figure they've got a

1336
01:18:39,230 --> 01:18:40,710
real blockbuster on their hands.

1337
01:18:40,990 --> 01:18:44,730
So much so that they're expanding the
script, including the party, the

1338
01:18:44,730 --> 01:18:45,850
hearing, and everything.

1339
01:18:46,190 --> 01:18:49,120
Really? Yeah, funny how things work out.

1340
01:18:49,760 --> 01:18:53,420
Hey, would you like to stay for lunch,
or do you have to go back to work?

1341
01:18:54,040 --> 01:18:56,860
Work? What work? You're witnessing my
swan song.

1342
01:18:57,120 --> 01:18:58,140
You lost the job?

1343
01:18:58,560 --> 01:19:02,560
Well, let's put it this way. The boss
wasn't too happy about me spending $215

1344
01:19:02,560 --> 01:19:03,760
on noodles and beans.

1345
01:19:04,040 --> 01:19:05,040
No, I guess not.

1346
01:19:05,640 --> 01:19:07,880
Well, like you said, it's funny how
things work out.

1347
01:19:08,600 --> 01:19:10,080
So your dad was really impressed, huh?

1348
01:19:10,520 --> 01:19:13,220
Really? You know the part of the college
kid? Yeah.

1349
01:19:13,540 --> 01:19:15,800
Dad thinks Bernie would be perfect for
it.

1350
01:19:17,260 --> 01:19:20,020
Bernie. I knew I looked pretty silly.

1351
01:19:21,180 --> 01:19:23,080
Why does every silver lining have a
cloud?

1352
01:19:23,480 --> 01:19:25,360
Dad wants you for the role of Toby.

1353
01:19:26,060 --> 01:19:28,660
Toby? The caterer in the expanded
script.

1354
01:19:29,040 --> 01:19:30,040
You're kidding, really?

1355
01:19:30,100 --> 01:19:31,100
Well, that's terrific.

1356
01:19:31,280 --> 01:19:32,760
So, how about lunch?

1357
01:19:35,640 --> 01:19:36,640
Do I get dessert?

1358
01:19:36,820 --> 01:19:38,300
I guarantee it.

1359
01:19:42,440 --> 01:19:43,660
What are you doing?

1360
01:19:44,060 --> 01:19:47,880
Oh, nothing. Well, it's this thing I
have. I mean, it's sort of a fantasy.

1361
01:19:48,260 --> 01:19:51,360
I mean, sometimes I see you and you
don't have any clothes on. Your clothes

1362
01:19:51,360 --> 01:19:53,400
disappear. Well, they didn't this time.

1363
01:19:53,760 --> 01:19:55,060
I'm not wearing any.

1364
01:19:55,300 --> 01:19:56,099
You're not?

1365
01:19:56,100 --> 01:19:58,820
Now, about the role of Toby.

1366
01:19:59,060 --> 01:20:04,340
Yeah. Dad's letting me cast it. Yeah,
fine. And I have a casting couch.

1367
01:20:04,860 --> 01:20:07,120
Yeah. And you're invited to audition.

1368
01:20:07,760 --> 01:20:08,760
Invited?

1369
01:20:09,020 --> 01:20:10,020
I am.

1370
01:20:10,480 --> 01:20:12,360
You want an engraved invitation?

1371
01:20:13,670 --> 01:20:15,690
No, but I'll definitely RSVP.